philm Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 I have always taxed, fuelled and insured my own cars, since day 1. Let him sort it out Kids are given far too much these days and then they just expect it. +1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12borejimbo Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Im 24, coming up 25 and have done some stupid things in my life, but learnt valuable lessons. I drove my ex girlfriend home years ago when I had been out with my mates on the sauce, one of my mates had my car keys so I could not use my car, so a mate chucked me his keys, on the way back home driving like a plonker I rolled the car and took out a tree and a fence. Turns out no insurance. I was 18 and paid my mate back £3000 for the car out of my own money, I had to sell my pride and joy shotgun, a Lincoln Jubilee Prestige, nice gun for an 18 year old! I got a loan out to pay for the rest of the balance and paid that off over 2 years whilst finishing my carpentry apprenticeship. What a hard lesson that was. I have always worked, evern though I have hated the jobs sometimes I am always on time and do what is expected of me. I learnt the hard way and it has made me learn the value of money. Dont get me wrong, my parents would help me out, but they have sculpted me into what I am today. I would say I am well brought up, polite and well mannered. I paid fro half of my lessons, and got the other half as a combined Birthday and Christmas prestent. I paid for my own car and insurance. Always have done. The only way you can make your son learn is to think to yourself, what is the right/best thing to do, not only to make him learn, but also to be better off for the future? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flynny Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 I never had no help, if you want stuff earn it simples, saying that I would help my girls to start motoring, ie 17 th birthday present driving lessons and nowt else, when they finish uni they can buy there own damn car ha ha ATB Flynny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranfield Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Lend him the money, charge a reasonable rate of interest, make him set up a direct debit repayment (if possible) and also get him to start a savings account (if possible) for future expenses. Thats what I did for both my daughters in similar circumstances and it worked beautifully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikaveli Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Lend him the money, charge a reasonable rate of interest, make him set up a direct debit repayment (if possible) and also get him to start a savings account (if possible) for future expenses. Thats what I did for both my daughters in similar circumstances and it worked beautifully. That's a reasonable compromise, I think. The lad'll still be able to get to work, but he'll have time to think about his actions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferguson_tom Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 I have always paid for my own insurance cars etc with some help (loans) from parents every now and again. Even though i paid for my own insurance I still used to drive like a boy racer, my point is no matter who pays the insurance him or you he will still drive how he wants. The fact he has now crashed will be the lesson, I would help him out but make him pay it back so he realises you do not have a bottomless wallet. Are you suggesting you sort out the 5k damage privately or help him with the new insurance renewal, if offering to settle privately i would not do that as your lad will have to learn the consequences of driving the way he did? I crashed last year 100% my fault for trying to get somewhere in a hurry and now paying the consequences of higher insurance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al4x Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 the other reason not to settle privately would be the whiplash claim that will land shortly. if its done 5K of damage the bill will be 20K by the time its all done and dusted. If its to buy him a new car then personally I would let him wait and contemplate a bit before deciding to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPARKIE Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Never buy a half decent motor for a new driver they get stung on insurance and are likely to crash it.....I'd buy him a £50 lovely and make him run that that way if he crashes ya haven't lost anything.... He can still get to work and he can save for a new motor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikky Posted October 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 bless him...he has asked if he can extend the time to pay us back and he has offered to up the amount on the direct debit he is already paying us back,he is also trying to get a saturday job to find some extra money...he teaches karate and most of his students pay cash,so he has offered to hand over all his wages ( class sheet so we know/taxman knows what he is earning )...and to give him back what he needs for petrol and the odd night out.........so at least he has come up with some sort of solution.....no probs...no one got hurt in the accident...both cars fully comp so its the extra insurance costs he needs help with,...so its time to put his mind at rest and let him know if he needs help all he has to do is ask.......if you cant look after your own whats the point........ mikky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeredup Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Lend him the money, charge a reasonable rate of interest, make him set up a direct debit repayment (if possible) and also get him to start a savings account (if possible) for future expenses. Thats what I did for both my daughters in similar circumstances and it worked beautifully. Wise words!! bless him...he has asked if he can extend the time to pay us back and he has offered to up the amount on the direct debit he is already paying us back,he is also trying to get a saturday job to find some extra money...he teaches karate and most of his students pay cash,so he has offered to hand over all his wages ( class sheet so we know/taxman knows what he is earning )...and to give him back what he needs for petrol and the odd night out.........so at least he has come up with some sort of solution.....no probs...no one got hurt in the accident...both cars fully comp so its the extra insurance costs he needs help with,...so its time to put his mind at rest and let him know if he needs help all he has to do is ask.......if you cant look after your own whats the point........ mikky sounds like he has got his head screwed on the right way round mate, like ya say at least no one got hurt and hope fully he will learn from it and become a safer driver Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blister Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 my son done the same i helped him all the way throught his test car the lot he banged it dad can you help me yea son they is a bus bike in the garden u know what you want to see him drive now so good dont drive fast or to close the moral is dads ant here for ever so you need to stand on your own two feet it was hard to do but i dont regret it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muggins. Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Brandon,,my lad love him to bits...paid for his driving lessons,,,paid 2600 quid for his insurance last year,,,,,,,,,,,,leant him 2000 quid towards his latest car....got in the car with him as a passenger...told him he was driving to close to the car in front and one day if he carries on he will crash into the back of another car,,,not a chance he says.....just got a report from the insurance company..the car he hit....5000 quids worth of damage.......its catch 22...if i dont help him,he cant go to work and earn money to pay me back.....or do i write off what he owes me ,dont help him and not pay the extra insurance and teach him a lesson. mikky Is this the same lad that crashes the laptops?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluebarrels Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 bless him...he has asked if he can extend the time to pay us back and he has offered to up the amount on the direct debit he is already paying us back,he is also trying to get a saturday job to find some extra money...he teaches karate and most of his students pay cash,so he has offered to hand over all his wages ( class sheet so we know/taxman knows what he is earning )...and to give him back what he needs for petrol and the odd night out.........so at least he has come up with some sort of solution.....no probs...no one got hurt in the accident...both cars fully comp so its the extra insurance costs he needs help with,...so its time to put his mind at rest and let him know if he needs help all he has to do is ask.......if you cant look after your own whats the point........ mikky Help him out mate sounds like a sensible chap to me,ive being there twice with my daughter and the main thing about any accidents they live to tell the tale BB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chr15j Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Mate why don't you write it off, put him on a CBT £140 get him a cheap moped a couple of hundred pounds and much cheaper to run and insure. This way he can still get to work, he suffers a little with the winter weather and learns a valuable lesson. Royal signing a kids death warrant is not the best way to teach them a lesson. Anything on 2 wheels and a motor is a death trap for an inexp person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 signing a kids death warrant is not the best way to teach them a lesson. Anything on 2 wheels and a motor is a death trap for an inexp person. Not at all - it's the best way to learn roadskills, and how vulnerable you are in any motorvehicle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daz2202 Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Find a ******* out ol Skoda in hearing aid beige. Make him do a direct debit to pay you back and make sure he appreciates that !!! It's more than my old man would have done for me at the time and I love him no less for it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Find a ******* out ol Skoda in hearing aid beige. A vRS you mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Mongrel- Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 I have always taxed, fuelled and insured my own cars, since day 1. Let him sort it out Kids are given far too much these days and then they just expect it. Same as. If he puts some time/effort and money into getting on the road again, THEN you can maybe help him out a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleeh Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Anyways to the original question. Your son won't learn any lessons if you bail him out once again, apart from the fact that daddy's wallet will fix everything, we've all had to struggle in the past, so drop him in it, let him think he's sinking and if it turns out he really is, pull him out! (But let's be honest, he'll will find out that after a bit of splashing he'll float) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daz2202 Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 A vRS you mean? Nope an estelle 5 speed. If ya can find one Are you a joke account based on the (almost) pun of your namesake?. Anyways to the original question. Your son won't learn any lessons if you bail him out once again, apart from the fact that daddy's wallet will fix everything, we've all had to struggle in the past, so drop him in it, let him think he's sinking and if it turns out he really is, pull him out! (But let's be honest, he'll will find out that after a bit of splashing he'll float) Totally agree. But don't let him sink too deep. But there is public transport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun4860 Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 Is this the same lad that crashes the laptops?? nope thats Lord Geordies lad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muggins. Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 nope thats Lord Geordies lad Well they sound like one of the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikky Posted October 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 thanks for the comments for every penny i have leant him he has had to match,,ie go out and earn it first ,the car was 5000 k he went out and earned 2500k,the deal on his insurance was if he put himself through college and pass his exams we would pay for his first years insurance,he took the money off us but insisted on paying it back as when he could afford it...which he has done...to be fair he has never asked for a penny,it was put to him as an incentive to do well...he has now been teaching up to first dan blackbelt for a year now and has about 80 students a week,the hard work is now starting to pay off and he is slowly feeling the benefits....unfortunately this has knocked him back financially but as mentioned it is a learning curve...at 20 i think he is doing really well.....mods its time to lock this topic thanks once again for all your comments mikky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spinach Posted October 18, 2012 Report Share Posted October 18, 2012 Think you already know what you should do and what you will good luck, how's his car, perhaps a lesser car for a cheaper insurance. Though got to worry how my kids are going to afford to drive insurance really needs sorting or perhaps youngsters shouldn't be driving such high spec cars. Young guys esp love the speed and really have no skills at stopping just moving . How's he feeling , not hurt I hope. John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cranfield Posted October 18, 2012 Report Share Posted October 18, 2012 A few posts that went off topic have been removed and a few posts that referred to them have been edited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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