cocker3 Posted November 20, 2012 Report Share Posted November 20, 2012 (edited) no saturday i was away beating for a mate and on the way home i thought i would got in and get my hair cut (not a big job )a young girl of about 25 and rather plump shall we say came over and asked me to take a seat she started cutting my hair and we were chatting away in the coversation i asked here when the baby was due she looked pregnant to me !!! to whitch she said oh i am not pregnant the rest of the hair cut was done in silence and i left very sharply. so come on who else has put there foot in it big time ! oh ps does any one know a good hair dressers in east lothian a think i am BARRED :yp: Edited November 20, 2012 by cocker3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walshie Posted November 20, 2012 Report Share Posted November 20, 2012 :lol: Those big fat birds are always a bit touchy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeredup Posted November 20, 2012 Report Share Posted November 20, 2012 he he was the barbers called chunky cuts?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overandunder2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Report Share Posted November 20, 2012 :lol: Those big fat birds are always a bit touchy! but grateful hehehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenboy Posted November 20, 2012 Report Share Posted November 20, 2012 I put my foot in it once. I had just started a new job , a couple of weeks ago I saw a chap from the shift in tescos shopping with a old woman . Next day I said to him " saw you shopping with your mum in tescos last night " His reply was "thats not my mum its my wife" , not too many 30 year olds marry a 62 year old is there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walshie Posted November 20, 2012 Report Share Posted November 20, 2012 but grateful hehehe So I'm told! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrwabbits Posted November 20, 2012 Report Share Posted November 20, 2012 ....... and a bag of flour might help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moor man Posted November 20, 2012 Report Share Posted November 20, 2012 Went to my local one sunday lunchtime, recognised a friend of my daughter( primary school age) with her gran, said 'hello you must be xxxxxs gran' ......noooo!!! it was her mum.! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocker3 Posted November 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2012 (edited) :lol: Those big fat birds are always a bit touchy! yeh i was only trying to be nice but grateful hehehe eh dont think this one was fella ....... and a bag of flour might help 0r **** and give us a clue Went to my local one sunday lunchtime, recognised a friend of my daughter( primary school age) with her gran, said 'hello you must be xxxxxs gran' ......noooo!!! it was her mum.! defo not a **** then Edited November 20, 2012 by cocker3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalconFN Posted November 20, 2012 Report Share Posted November 20, 2012 A general rule of thumb is; don't ever ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you can see the head. I once asked a one armed man if he needed a hand. I felt a bit uncomfortable during the silence that followed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ROY Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 When meeting a few of the guys on my shoot for the first time i said to one bloke "so what do you do for a living" He replied "nothing" "sounds good to me" say's I to which he replies "not really i've got cancer"!!! I felt so bloody bad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kes Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 I once told a story to a chap I knew about a woman I had met whose name fitted her perfectly, her name was Pain - he told me in a small voice his name was Pain too, I just collapsed laughing - not much else I could have done really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zx10mike Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 you could have saved it buy saying no its in about nine months you big piece of eye candy and flirting for the rest of the cut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaxiDriver Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 he he was the barbers called chunky cuts?? Tea over keyboard, I had to read that a second time to be sure . When I got married, my rather dippy sister in law (brothers wife) asked my wifes sister "and when is your baby due?" to wit' she replied rather loudly "Oh No, I'm not pregnant, and YES I Know Im very fat !!!" and promptly walked out of the reception Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evo Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 was doing a gig in wales ,this was a short notice one for a guy that was dying of cancer and only had weeks left to live,,after my first spot i decided to put a disk in the player which said 60,s and 70,s on it,,as i walked away to get a drink from the bar to my horror,STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN started playing,,i have never ran to my gear so fast in my life,,i felt the world swollow me up,, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasper3 Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 I once told a guy in a wheelchair that he needs to stand up to his boss....... luckily he had a great sense of humour , laughed and called me a ****** this ended up in a great friendship, this went on for me to ask him what shoe size he took..he asked me why? I told him i have another friend with the opposite leg missing he loved the down to earth banter.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
100milesaway Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 I must be one of the only ladies on the planet that does NOT like shopping ,so i tend to do a mass shop all in a day. On the mass shop day I was just about to enter my last shop with my arms full of bags,I struggled to open the swing door when this bloke shoved his way past me nearly knocking me and the pile of bags over. I rather taken aback asked him in a loud voice if he was blind. I then spotted the white stick. OOPPS. from Auntie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeredup Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 I once told a guy in a wheelchair that he needs to stand up to his boss....... luckily he had a great sense of humour , laughed and called me a ****** this ended up in a great friendship, this went on for me to ask him what shoe size he took..he asked me why? I told him i have another friend with the opposite leg missing he loved the down to earth banter.... thanks i just spat corn flakes over my laptop! :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elby Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 My wifes mate said she was going to get electrolosis done for hair removal. I said "that will see the end of your tache" She replied "I'm having it done on my legs" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
activeviii Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 I meet this young lady a few years ago and we seamed to hit it off. next day I was picking a new car up so I arranged to pick her up and go for a drive. I got delayed getting the car so the prearranged time came and went, when I finally got to her place I knocked, an older lady answered the door, being mr forgetful I had forgot the young ladies name so im stood at the door with this older lady there and I just didn't know the name so foot in gob I asked if her grand daughter was around. its not my grand daughter, it's my daughter and no she's not home, was the reply. I did go on to marry the daughter and still laugh about it to this day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
filzee Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 once a bit blurry eyed in the pub started to chat a girl up and after a while asked what her name was, her reply was " we have known each other for 7 years and a while back had a couple of night togethor" she didn't find it amusing that i had no idea who she was and still to this day have no idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seamus Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 I started a new job, and the team took me out to lunch on the Friday at the end of my first week. We were having a laugh and joke about various things when I brought up the subject of one of the office admin girls' incredibly hairy top lip. I demonstrated how hairy I perceived the top lip to be by putting my hand to my mouth and waggling my fingers about. Silence, with everyone except my new boss looking at the floor. "Ah, that'll be your missus then, yes?" Fun times... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Geordie Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 A lad I once worked with went to answer the front desk bell! After about 2 minutes He came back through! He called over to Tom! "Tom! There is a Woman at the front desk want's to see you!" Tom looked a little confused! Who is it? He asked! I don't know! But she is a bit of a Munter! Tom went through to the desk and was away for about 10 minutes! On his return, He said to lad! That's my WIFE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChAoS Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 In the mid-eighties, I was in a pub at lunch-time sitting *very* close to one of the company's secretaries. An older chap near the bar catches her eye and sets a course for us through the intervening sea of customers. As he approaches, I asks, "Who's that old ****, then?" She says, "My husband." Happy days, happy days... Regards, Mark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breastman Posted November 21, 2012 Report Share Posted November 21, 2012 Last year i was at a persons house who had put in planning permission for a rear ground floor extension to provide a bedroom and bathroom because his wife was going into hospital to have a foot amputated because of something to do with diabetes. While discussing the plans with the husband (wife in the background) I pointed out that if the extension was considered to be too long it would have to be pulled back. When he asked how much by as a worse case scenario I said, “Don’t worry, you’d only lose a foot” My face went that red I almost set the plans on fire :blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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