Dougy Posted June 30, 2013 Report Share Posted June 30, 2013 My Boss and i went fishing on the Dove after Barbel, i had very little tackle as we were on the move just enough, most of it was in a waist coat i have with god knows how many pockets. My boss who is 6" 6 and about 20stone had his Diawa Box , whilst he went up stream spotting for Barbel i put a load of very large stones in his seat box, i mean they were BIG. They had been in there for weeks before he noticed, and we had been fishing loads of times and i really thought he would have realised that his box was a little on the heavy side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE AD Posted June 30, 2013 Report Share Posted June 30, 2013 best one we did was brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beardo Posted June 30, 2013 Report Share Posted June 30, 2013 i remember watching the Japanese horror film The Ring, years ago with my father... As the closing titles are rolling, i dialled our house phone (which never rang as we both used our mobiles) using my mobile subtly down the side of the sofa. You've never seen anyone's face turn to pale.... The other one i recall was on a job in South Africa - there were a few of us working and we had a little time off, so arranged a safari bus ride through the local reserve. My mate John and I were sat on the back bench seat of an open top safari bus - we can across a couple of lions sitting in the road, which was really cool to see, and eventually they decided to stand up and move off into the bush. the tour guide kept talking to use for a while after they had disappeared from sight. At this point i made my hand into a claw shape and grabbed John from behind. He screamed like a girl and jumped out of his seat much to all of our amusement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigeon controller Posted June 30, 2013 Report Share Posted June 30, 2013 The standard wind up of the test drivers at Land Rover was to take a visitor or worker on his own test drive when we were building series three. They would fit temporary seats in and set off round the test track, on the second circuit on the long downhill straight they would set the steering wheel inthe straight ahead position. This was done by producing a Tee spanner and removing the retaining nut on the steering wheel, removing it and passing it to the unsuspecting passenger, feathering the brakes and then repositioning back. You can imagine some of the reactions. This has all changed to rolling roads at the end of the track. Another trick we all played was to take out an UK registered LHD vehicle. The passenger in the offside seat would read a paper as you drove down the motorway while the driver on the near side would keep his hands at the base of the steering wheel. We had a few reactions!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Marty Posted June 30, 2013 Report Share Posted June 30, 2013 Were I work we used have a fire Alarm check every Monday Morning.It was a regular thing to tell students they were on fire watch and that if the Fire alarm went off, (which of course we told them never happens, but was due to ring,) That they had to run into the main Admin and take the door straight ahead, (which was were all the heads of departments meet on Monday morning as well ) and tell all inside to get out right away there was a fire. You wouldn't believe the amount of times that worked. All changed now you would sacked for bullying or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRNDL Posted June 30, 2013 Report Share Posted June 30, 2013 Tuna under the inner soles of my mates sports trainers...absolutely stunk and lasted about 2 weeks, you could smell the guy coming. Also put prawns in the end of my mates curtain pole, inside the screw ends. Absolutely raised the roof...the stench was incredible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
filzee Posted June 30, 2013 Report Share Posted June 30, 2013 I love a good practical joke, have been subject to and dished many out over the years. My favourite one was a few years back the missus went out on a girly night out while I baby sat. She came back rather merry and crawled into bed naked. Didn't take her long to get to sleep, when she did I opened her butt cheeks a bit and popped a small bit of dairy milk in between. First thing the next morning was hilarious!! She didn't see the funny side at all, still foaming about it to this day! That has to be one of the best things I have ever heard. You sir are a God Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Richo Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 On Aprils fools day a few years ago got a phone call about seven in the morning from my best mate. He told me he was on his way to his Uncles wedding and had ran out of petrol but to make things worse he was carrying the wedding cake to the venue so had to get there without delay. He asked me to get a petrol can out of garage and go and fill it up and then take it to him where he had broke down so off I went. When I arrived to where he said he was broken down after filling up the petrol can he was nowhere to be seen so I rang him and said "am on the roundabout where you have broken down but I can't see you am I at the right rounabout" he replied "April fools am not at any roundabout am in bed mate where you were when I rang you this morning!" Caught me totally off guard and have tried to get him back every year but got no chance as soon as he answers the phone his first words are "April Fools" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeredup Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 on my last rig we gave a brand new first trip offshore guy a bill for his food,water and electricity oh yeah and a charge per use of the stewards washing his gear! we all gave ourselves bills too so he could compare ours to his. he went nuts as he was a steward so he had washed his own gear lol and he had used three times more electricity than everyone else who all said "oooh ya didnt charge ya laptop in ya cabin did ya? we all use the sockets in the workshop or control room" lol the poor sod was hook line n sinkered!! i also saw a first trip engineering cadet be sent up to see us on the bridge to get the ships ignition key!! when we were getting ready to sail!! the captain sent him to look in the mess room as he thought he had dropped it in there at lunch time lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
double10 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Tuna under the inner soles of my mates sports trainers...absolutely stunk and lasted about 2 weeks, you could smell the guy coming. Also put prawns in the end of my mates curtain pole, inside the screw ends. Absolutely raised the roof...the stench was incredible. have you ever heard of ''liquid ***''? this kid at school was being annoying, and there was this one girl he was permanently attached to...so I got out my bottle of liquid *** and sprayed him and nobody would come near him for the whole day! Another one was when I went night fishing with my mate theo, theo's dad simon, simon's friend peter and peter's nephew alex. Alex went over to the cars (300m from his swim) and we went over to the cars behind him and made him jump, theo promptly left with his headlamp on and hid in the bushes to distract alex while I lay down next to the path, as he walked past the path I shouted and grabbed his ankle and he ran away screaming 'A badger! Help me a badger attacked me!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salop Matt Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 When I was about 12 I used to horse ride and boy was i a rotten child, i was inspired by the film home alone...... My now wife was one of my victims back then, i got her with the cling film over the toilet seat and also being nasty i had a catapult and shot the horse on the bum with it when she was riding it, shes never forgot and regularly remainds me of it ! Also used to drive an old LDV petrol V8 ambulance with a mannual choke....... a local road near buy is on a hill with a bus stop half way down the hill. The trick was to come down the bank, knock the engine off and pull the manual choke out and flood the engine, on approach to the bus stop we would start the engine and there would be an almighty bag and lick of flame as well as big stink of fuel The bus stop occupants didnt half jump That all worked well untill i over did it and blew the back box off, had to stop and pick it up 20yards from these angry and upset people :( didnt go down well when i returned the vehicle either as there was no hiding how it had happend. ATB Matt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vampire Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 (edited) My mates wedding went well and off they set on their honeymoon directly from the reception,little did they know we had wired a mackeral to the exhaust manifold and poured confetti down the air vent hoses Edited July 1, 2013 by vampire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vampire Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 When i used to work for a building contractors,every year we would have a new influx of apprentices,they would all be standing in the yard with their new boots an such, looking nervous waiting to be collected by whoever they were working with. One very small lad sat in the groundworkers lorry looking petrified,now this ground worker was an ugly big bloke,but always a laugh,me and my brother went over to him and laid into him verbaly about how discusted we were that he should be allowed to be near young boys after what he had done,spent conviction or not,to which he put his hand on the lads knee and smiled at him,this lad was nearly crying be then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 On a YTS scheme, I was caught with the long stand and the short stay, all part of growing up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njc110381 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 One of the best I've ever seen is when the rifle club chairman bought a new car. On arriving to the club my mate noticed him getting out of the new motor, so waited until he'd walked away and put one of those stick on bullet holes square in the middle of the drivers door. Needless to say when he returned to his car later his face was a picture. With the apparently damaged car and the obvious breach of safety he was on a right rampage until we peeled it off in front of him! My favourite though was as a kid - a prank on a rather large lad who used to be a bit of a bully. He always showed off about getting his way with his girlfriend in the bushes mid evening when we were out at the park on a Friday night. Most weeks he would come and find us to "borrow a rubber". We all carried them just in case but they weren't cheap on pocket money so it was a bit annoying to keep giving them away. Getting a bit miffed with the whole situation we decided to take one of my uncles diabetic needles and carefully squirted a few drops of Tabasco sauce into the pack before giving it a good rub around. Friday evening came and as always, he was on the scrounge. We handed him the prepared condom and swiftly departed. Lets just say I've never since seen a lad that angry! It put pay to his Friday night treat that's for sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul87 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 (edited) In school I used to **** into bottles, set the lid on lightly and throw it to the other side of the class. Lid would fall off on impact releasing the ****. For some reason no one ever twigged on to what I was doing just my mates knew who sat giggling. Thought I had grown up but still laugh about it. Another time I had a friend believing that he was going to be auctioned off to a woman for a date night for charity. Told him the day before and after a short time he agreed as it was for a good cause. The look on his face when we went through the doors and he realized the youngest woman was about 50 was brilliant. He is 28 and there is nothing wrong with older ladies just not his type. Kept it going til he bottled it and refused to be auctioned. Then the classic of pushing the release button on a reel spool when your mate turns his back. Then sit back and enjoy as he casts. Spool flies off along with all the line and is a real nightmare to sort out The starred out word is the common term for passing wind Edited July 1, 2013 by paul87 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunderbird Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 One of the best I've ever seen is when the rifle club chairman bought a new car. On arriving to the club my mate noticed him getting out of the new motor, so waited until he'd walked away and put one of those stick on bullet holes square in the middle of the drivers door. Needless to say when he returned to his car later his face was a picture. With the apparently damaged car and the obvious breach of safety he was on a right rampage until we peeled it off in front of him! Was that P.M.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njc110381 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Another club, but you have now given me an idea. I've got a card of those stickers somewhere! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisjpainter Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 At university a friend of mine lived on the top floor of a seven storey residence. One night we got him totally plastered - but not quite drunk enough to be unconscious. We took him up and down the lift countless times for a joke and got him nice and confused, then took him to a ground floor room, and proceeded to throw him out the window. he was petrified, thinking we were in his room on level 7. once he'd fallen all of three feet he just sat on the grass, staring up trying to work out how he'd survived and why everyone was laughing at him. happy days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cookoff013 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 all of these a quite disturbingly fun. i suppose it depends on where you work, a friend of mine lost his job due to a prank. and he was the victim ! a bit of banter and jollies are quite fun. but when it gets to the point where people are being either greviously assaulted, or people poisoning others (!) we had a few idiots and it got out of hand, car tyres were slashed an serious assalt, the poisonoing was bad enough ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBW Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 One of the older lads at work told me of a trick he played on a young lad who was a summer worker with the parks dept. he had been sent with our lot for a day ( gravediggers ) They were doin a re open. Where they open up a grave that has someone in it already to bury their other half on top of them, when Sam the old lad dug down he knew he was only an inch or so off the first coffin so he went into the hole to set up the shoring and stopped and said to the young lad sssshhh can you hear that? Young lad who was up on ground level said no. Old Sam kept it going till he had his head right up against the old coffin going give me one knock for yes two knocks for no, bearing in mind the occupant of this coffin had been dead for twenty years he said to the young lad. Come in and keep them going I'm going to ring for help so they swap and now the young lad is in the grave and he's saying are you ok. Knock to let me know. Then Sam and the other lads who had quietly gathered up all crept up to the grave and yelled BOOO! The poor lad crapped himself and wouldn't talk to any of them for weeks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiggum Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Me and a few mates were on a lads holiday to Cyprus around 10 years ago and got friendly with 3 girls who were working out there. On the last day one of my mates asked if he could use their shower before we left and he ended up shall we say pleasuring himself into the unscrewed shower head. He then reassembled the shower head and left his little present for the girls to find. Too this day we don't know which one had extra conditioner all over her head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flynny Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 (edited) Magaluf in 1996 i was 23 tears old, we were in a hotel room next to some right southern gay lords, they kept grassing us up that we were too loud too drunk etc, any way my mate climbs over to there balcony and I hears " flynny" flynny come here the gay lords are out and they have left the door open" I says give it a rest mate get back over here" any way he creeps into there room and finds a camera on the bed, he then stuck each of there tooth brushes up his anal hole and I took a picture with there own camera while the tooth brushes were firmly rammed up his jaxey!!!!!!!!!!! Jee whiz I was crying with laughter.I then left the camera back on the bed. I would have loved to have seen there faces when they had them pics developed ha ha ha ha *****, I bet they had lovely fresh breath ha ha ha. I,m laughing as I write this, oh what great memories, Atb Flynny Edited July 1, 2013 by flynny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cant hit rabbits 123 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 (edited) The standard 'go and fetch me a long standing weight/glass hammer/left handed screw driver/right angle mallet' with the less tool savvy ladies and gents at the Uni workshop. Flatmate went for a night out on his birthday, so we transferred everything from his room to the flat above ours, moved someone from said flat into his room and changed his room number and the numbers on the flat door. He came back drunk as a skunk, walked into his room to find someone else else asleep in there with totally different bedding, furniture etc. He apologized profusely and left our flat, only to return at about 6 AM and go to sleep in the bathroom. Edited July 1, 2013 by cant hit rabbits 123 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fern01 Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 This is a great topic! This ones a bit schoolboy but we emptied every hole puncher in a huge open plan office into a guys umbrella and fastened it back up. He was livid next day as it started raining while he was at the bus stop and got covered in confetti when he opened it. This sent the rest of the people waiting for the bus home with a smile on their face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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