955i Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 (edited) Hi all, this may be a bit long winded so bear with me. Have had my 7yo lad for the half term and he was taking photos of some plants we bought on his phone. The phone is a Galaxy S2 that I gave to his mum (my ex) when I upgraded and he has it now for games etc (not for calls unless emergency to me and his mum). He said he had a message and I know how these can work and don't want him inadvertently getting into trouble so opened his message box to find it was from the phone provider. While in there I noticed messages from actual numbers (mine included) and was a bit concerned that I didn't recognize one of them so I opened it. Turned out it was an explicit text conversation between (I assume) his mum and some bloke. Didn't read it all as was upsetting and knocked me for six to be honest, but what I did pick up was that she is appears to be in a relationship where the bloke is very dominant (not like my ex at all) and also turns out to be married. Would you guys let her know that you have seen it, tell her to be more circumspect about what she leaves on phones, not to **** married men and that the relationship seems unhealthy or would you just leave it? I know that what she does is her own business, but any relationship she gets into has a possible knock-on effect on my boy so I feel I have some say, if only minor. Thoughts please. Edited May 30, 2014 by 955i Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welsh1 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 She is your ex,leave her to it. I would mention that she failed to delete some texts between herself and her man,and ask her to be more careful as your son could see them. It is right you want to protect your son, but you cannot chose your ex's partners,you can only be there for your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 just leave it......but be aware.....what she does is her own buisness....confronting her will embarass her goodtime, and could make things difficult for you as a result....... its better knowing than not knowing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pork chop Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 like you say what she does hasn't got much to do with you,but saying that not good having that sort of thing on your lads phone.get rid of it and have a word with her to be more careful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
955i Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Strange thing is the text is dated after she upgraded her phone, so can't see why she would be using his to send the texts unless she is giving a different number to this chap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennym Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 She is your ex,leave her to it. I would mention that she failed to delete some texts between herself and her man,and ask her to be more careful as your son could see them. It is right you want to protect your son, but you cannot chose your ex's partners,you can only be there for your son. +1 you have a right to ensure your son doesn't see inappropriate material, but as said its her business, however if the nature of the texts are so dark that you are concerned for her safety, would you forgive yourself if you didn't say something and something bad happened? if this is the case (i hope not) then you are in a bind because even if you are right she won't thank you for it .... good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poontang Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 The phone is a Galaxy S2 that I gave to his mum (my ex) when I upgraded and he has it now for games etc (not for calls unless emergency to me and his mum). When did you give the 'phone to your ex? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
955i Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Wow, haven't seen this many people reading a topic since religion was allowed to be discussed This is a really tough one as our break up is still pretty raw with me and I still feel a duty to keep an eye on both of them, but I don't want to alienate her by letting on I know. Made a note of the phone number just in case, guess I could always ring and tell his wife LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbiep Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 like you say what she does hasn't got much to do with you,but saying that not good having that sort of thing on your lads phone.get rid of it and have a word with her to be more careful +1. Asking her to be a little bit discrete is not a bad move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
955i Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 When did you give the 'phone to your ex? Bout a year ago, but the text was dated April this year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Hi all, this may be a bit long winded so bear with me. Have had my 7yo lad for the half term and he was taking photos of some plants we bought on his phone. The phone is a Galaxy S2 that I gave to his mum (my ex) when I upgraded and he has it now for games etc (not for calls unless emergency to me and his mum). He said he had a message and I know how these can work and don't want him inadvertently getting into trouble so opened his message box to find it was from the phone provider. While in there I noticed messages from actual numbers (mine included) and was a bit concerned that I didn't recognize one of them so I opened it. Turned out it was an explicit text conversation between (I assume) his mum and some bloke. Didn't read it all as was upsetting and knocked me for six to be honest, but what I did pick up was that she is appears to be in a relationship where the bloke is very dominant (not like my ex at all) and also turns out to be married. Would you guys let her know that you have seen it, tell her to be more circumspect about what she leaves on phones, not to **** married men and that the relationship seems unhealthy or would you just leave it? I know that what she does is her own business, but any relationship she gets into has a possible knock-on effect on my boy so I feel I have some say, if only minor. Thoughts please. VERY minor I am afraid, good luck with whatever you decide upon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxus77 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 wrong date and time on phone ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon R Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I would mention it to your ex, to avoid possible embarrassment for your son. I might be tempted to text the other number and ask the person not to send explicit texts to a child's phone, as it could land him in bother. That said - it won't remain a secret from your ex, for long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegasus bridge Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I think you've every right to tell her to be careful about exposing your lad to this, but be careful that it doesn't come across as you trying to tell her what she should and shouldn't do. Make it crystal clear your issue is just about the text being on the lads phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poontang Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Bout a year ago, but the text was dated April this year Seems a bit strange that the bloke is texting her on her old 'phone. Do you know when your ex gave the phone to your son? Either way it's not right that your boy could access those sort of messages, albeit maybe by accident. Definitely a quiet word with your ex I would say. She shouldn't take it too badly, after all I doubt she'd want your lad to see them either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaxiDriver Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 my opinion, by all means mention the message(s) in question to your wife and ask her to be more careful/discreet in future as you are looking at for your sons well being, So It is Your Business don't make mention of the text content, she's your ex, if you have split without any chance of reconcilliation then its probably none of your business UNLESS, it begins to effect your son's safety/well being Naturally you probably still care for/about her, So, maybe let her know that your there for both of them should she need someone to turn to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennym Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Wow, haven't seen this many people reading a topic since religion was allowed to be discussed This is a really tough one as our break up is still pretty raw with me and I still feel a duty to keep an eye on both of them, but I don't want to alienate her by letting on I know. Made a note of the phone number just in case, guess I could always ring and tell his wife LOL sounds like a plan................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
955i Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Seems a bit strange that the bloke is texting her on her old 'phone. Do you know when your ex gave the phone to your son? Either way it's not right that your boy could access those sort of messages, albeit maybe by accident. Definitely a quiet word with your ex I would say. She shouldn't take it too badly, after all I doubt she'd want your lad to see them either. April Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
955i Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 if you have split without any chance of reconcilliation Without hope we are nothing my friend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullet boy Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I think you've every right to tell her to be careful about exposing your lad to this, but be careful that it doesn't come across as you trying to tell her what she should and shouldn't do. Make it crystal clear your issue is just about the text being on the lads phone. Same as this gent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team tractor Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I'd mention the phone had a few random texts . You don't want your lad getting naked pics through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B725 Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Can you not buy a new sim card for your young un that way it will not happen again and maybe save you some grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islandgun Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Can you not buy a new sim card for your young un that way it will not happen again and maybe save you some grief. +1 I'm all for saving grief protect your lad, good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJW Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Agree with the general consensus on the thread, protect your son, leave her to her business. The only thing I can think of adding, is don't bring it up with her after you've had a few. You wouldn't be the first bloke to wake up in the morning with a sore head wishing he hadn't text his ex while he was under the influence! Especially when its over something so emotive. Hope things get sorted. I would probably get the kid a new sim anyway, because even if the texts stop some random bloke still has his number. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houlsby Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Just block that number in the phone bud. Send texts straight to delete and the calls to unavailable. If you can't do this just get him a new sim or call up the provider and explain he's only 7 and he's getting dodgy texts off someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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