Paddy Galore! Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 just lately my family have come out with some corkers, just sold some gumpf on ebay and the chap has paid in scottish notes, my wife was up in arms when she saw the dosh, her words were," they're not worth as much as english pounds!" Add to that my middle daughter went to scotland recently and took her passport "just in case" Anyone else care to share a blonde moment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikky Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 (edited) one of the girls on reception at work asked me if Scotland was in England..........cos thats where her mum was going on holiday... and we told her that you get rubber from trees...not trees made of wood..but the trees were actually made of rubber....we even showed her a pic on google and she believed us...she is 22 yrs old.... mikky Edited September 14, 2012 by mikky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blunderbuss Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 (edited) My brother lives in the states but tries hard to keep to his roots. He has a union flag on his credit card. One of the septics he works with saw his card and said "neat, your master card has the Olympic flag on it". Edited September 14, 2012 by Blunderbuss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoggieman Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 "We are all in it together" That was the dumest qote I have heard for many years. Peter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imperfection Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 Funniest one was when i was a highrise roofer and was working on an appartment complex in Peckham.The newbie (16 years old) looked across the city and said he could see the Eiffel Tower. Yes...it was crystal palace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reece Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 Some people were discussing something and started talking about animals which lay eggs. Not sure how it went, but someone for some reason said "you're not telling me pigs lay eggs?". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walshie Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 When airbags for cars first came out, we tried to explain to my mate's girlfriend what they were, and she asked how you could see over them to drive. She IS blonde actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jega Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 On returning from a recent holiday, J.."Where did you go ?" ME.."Guernsey and very nice it was too.." J.."Guernsey ? thats south isnt it?" ME " Yep.." J... is my ...............Manager. I think were heading back to the pond of evolution of which Darwin spoke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasper3 Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 when the wife told me we had the wrong lake..we were in wales at Llangorse and the sign read llyn lake , we want llangorse i just looked around and said thats lake in welsh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poacher Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 When I worked in a bar during my student years, there were two people I was serving, the conversation went Customer 1: hi can i have a coffee please Me: Yes sure Customer 1: do you do hot milk ? Me: Yes Customer 1: Brill thanks Pays and leaves Customer 2: Coffee please Me: no probs Customer 2: (having overheard previous request) umm what's the difference between hot milk and normal milk ? Me: ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
libs Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 On a 2 day interview in small groups last week. Doing obstacle course features at various stages then we headed over to a lesson on knot tying. As we were handed 2' lengths of rope to try off around a scaffold pole 4' off the ground one of my group asked "do we need to put our helmets on for this?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amazed Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 For years I had a stupidly massive cheese plant in my bathroom, the thing would take over. So I called it triffid and my gf at the time was telling her mates how I had a triffid plant in the bathroom she thort it was real lmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegasus bridge Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 i worked in an electonics store that sold mobile phones whilst at college (late 90's), at the time Pay as you go was just being launched, one of the networks ran some adverts showing a phone with coins going in the side, anyway we had at least 3 people come in asking for 'one of those mobiles you put the cash in' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul87 Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 (edited) A girl I worked in a bar with had just received her pay slip. She studied it for a bit and then said "they've paid me for 7.5 hours and I've only worked seven and a half, but I'm not goin to tell them" I just walked out and burst out laughing, never corrected her just let her believe she got one up on them. Managed to convince an ex from England that before coming to visit me in northern Ireland she would need her money to euros and a bring a euro plug converter. Daft bint. Oh and a driving range is where you take your car to reverse round a track as fast you can. Edited September 14, 2012 by paul87 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeds chimp Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 went to SOUTHERN Ireland last week...got some ££ changed for Euros and left them on the side... SWMBO picked them up and stated.."you are not going to Ireland...you are going somewhere else as you need £££ in Ireland not Euros".... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
storme37 Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 (edited) "We are all in it together" That was the dumest qote I have heard for many years. Peter agreed that takes some beating followed only by "i have smoked dope but didnt inhale" Edited September 14, 2012 by storme37 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted September 14, 2012 Report Share Posted September 14, 2012 (edited) When i worked at Sony, one of our guys known as Tractor Trev reckoned that we all shut our PCs down at the end of the day, the Sony Website also went down.. This was one of his minors ones. So many are too long to type. Every Military base in the uk is connected by an underground tunnel There is a UFO base at the bottom of Scammonden Dam ( I kid you not, there are people out there that do believe this!) Edited September 14, 2012 by keg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trevorevans Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Was in my local which is a pub restaurant type affair (but a proper mans bar I must add) where the new girl asked out loud in front of everybody 'is horseradish sauce made from real horses?'. The same girl turned up for work at 4pm because that's what she thought 1400 hours was, Lol. But the best was a mate who complained over a few beers one night about all these people claiming 'the sick' and there being nothing wrong with them, he then went on to announce that he was going to have a bit of that and go down the doctors to get a paper saying he was 'homophobic', we all looked at each other confused and said 'how's that gonna work?'. 'Well obviously it means I can't work because I'm affraid to leave the ******g house'. About 10 of us were crying with laughter and couldn't talk for about 10 mins, priceless!. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonLuke Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 "What was Hitlers surname?" ranks quite highly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
39TDS Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 My missus is one of the dumbest people I know, lovely girl but not much going on upstairs. I once told her I fancied going to IOM to see Douglas. She was quite irate and insisted I didn't know anyone on IOM, least of all someone called Douglas. I keep myself amused by making up the most ridiculous tales, she always believes me. Usually goes off and tells her mates too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerry31 Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 I once asked my misses if she fancied going to edenburgh for the tattoo she said thats a long way to go for a tattoo can we not get one in bury. She also once told the tom-tom that we were stopping for fuel. Dumb as a stump but still managed to take half my house my dog and the car ummmm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
storme37 Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 I once asked my misses if she fancied going to edenburgh for the tattoo she said thats a long way to go for a tattoo can we not get one in bury. She also once told the tom-tom that we were stopping for fuel. Dumb as a stump but still managed to take half my house my dog and the car ummmm classic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrapFiller Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 I once asked my misses if she fancied going to edenburgh for the tattoo she said thats a long way to go for a tattoo can we not get one in bury. She also once told the tom-tom that we were stopping for fuel. Dumb as a stump but still managed to take half my house my dog and the car ummmm Why would she only take half of the dog? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerry31 Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 She took the whole dog. Just left his lead and his bowl hurtful bixxxx I miss that dog lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timps Posted September 15, 2012 Report Share Posted September 15, 2012 Being told they stop serving the 'all day breakfast' at 11:30 am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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