Marine1980 Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 After a couple of mini arguments over the last couple of days my wife finally told me last night that it was over. We have been together for 12 years and it is killing me to think I'm losing both my wife and three kids. Anyway there was no argument or raised voices but I did need to clear my head so I decided to go for a drive. In my stupidity I told my misses during the talk that I couldn't live without them all. So I went for a drive and when I returned the wife had rang the police and stated I was missing after an argument so I was met by two police officers at my front door! Anyway after chatting to both me and her and realising that it was just a domestic the nice officer told me he would be seizing all my guns! Even the wife argued this fact and said that I never had and never would do anything to hurt her and the kids but they took the lot anyway. Now I understand if I had been aggressive or threatening in anyway but surely it's reasonable for a bloke to go on the 3 hour drive to clear his head after his wife of 12 years has said its over? Sorry for this post first thing in a morning guys but I could never describe to anyone how I'm feeling right now, I'm well and truly gutted about the wife and kids. Royal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MM Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 At the risk of sounding like the rest of PW, ring BASC. Thats a secondry thing. sit down and talk with your wife and do your best to deal with whats going on at home. Your guns are not important as your wife and kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archie-fox Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 stay strong mate...all the best.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rimfire4969 Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Mate, I am very sorry to hear your news. I can't offer any advise about your marriage I have cocked up more than once in that area. As for the guns a suggest getting hold of the BASC if you are a member, they should be able to help. Good luck on both fronts I really hope it works out for you soon. At the risk of sounding like the rest of PW, ring BASC. Thats a secondry thing. sit down and talk with your wife and do your best to deal with whats going on at home. Your guns are not important as your wife and kids. Great advise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ste12b Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 At the risk of sounding like the rest of PW, ring BASC. Thats a secondry thing. sit down and talk with your wife and do your best to deal with whats going on at home. Your guns are not important as your wife and kids. +1. Stick with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matty7247 Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Clearing your head was a good move mate, you have to see where the police are coming from though? Best interests for both parties. Have a chat with your wife, have a think about talking to someone like Relate? http://www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html They may be able to help you both sort something out. After that, have a speak to BASC, and see what they can do to help. But your Marriage and kids are much more important. Good luck mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul T Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 A marriage break up is never easy, especially when there's kids involved. I'm sure a lot of us have been there already. It sounds like your wiife is being fairly amicable so that's a plus point - mine wasn't! You need to discuss with your wife about plans for the immediate future, then phone BASC and get your guns back. It sounds like the police are just being extra cautious in taking them. All the best, mate. Hope things work out ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave-G Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 In my stupidity I told my misses during the talk that I couldn't live without them all. Royal All the very best with this very unfortunate event. I don't think you made a silly mistake, it's something that could easily be blurted out while trying to take the whole episode in. I guess the police are temporarily in a very awkward position if you really did say you "can't live without them all". The sad fact of the matter is that some other lesser men have gone overboard in the past and shown that if they can't have their family no-one else will either. If the police allowed you to keep possession of guns and you used them to off yourself or worse then they'd be in some right muck - and the rest of us might face even more restrictions in the fall out, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bi9johnny Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 sorry to hear that mate and i am no one to offer marriage advice so i won't, but be strong and there for your children....as the guns , can you get a mate to collect and store them for you rather the police who are just being cautious and don't want any miss haps i sincerely wish you good luck in the inevitable struggle ahead as these things more often than not are a struggle best regards john Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marine1980 Posted October 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 (edited) Guys thanks for all you kind words. My head is pretty much all over the place at the minute. We have been together since I was 20 and she has been my rock through thick and thin and at times it's been hard but we have always managed to get through everything together! I just couldn't imagine her not being there for me! Sorry guys a little depressing first thing in a morning but I really did have to talk with someone! Edited October 16, 2012 by Marine1980 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q West Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Sorry to hear Marine 1980, stay strong and all the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bi9johnny Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Guys thanks for all you kind words. My head is pretty much all over the place at the minute. We have been together since I was 20 and she has been my rock through thick and thin and at times it's been hard but we have always managed to get through everything together! I just couldn't imagine her not being there for me! Sorry guys a little depressing first thing in a morning but I really did have to talk with someone! hey buddy don't worry about the gun stuff it will work itself out , you just concentrate on your wife and kids and try and stay on top you will need all your mind strength to get through this but never give up and chat away for all your worth mate if it helps atb john Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P~MX Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Hi Marine, Sorry to hear about your troubles, the Exact same thing has happened to a mate of mine 3 weeks ago and yesterday he was up in court to sort it Only his crooked wife wouldn't play fair ! she told the plod he'd shoot himself if she left, the long and the short of it is according to his legal team and SACS he has did nothin illegal and it's his word against hers, so he's been instructed to take his wife to court next month to clear his name and get seein his kids and to get his guns back, All his advice leads to him gettin the decision in his favour -- I hope it all works out for you too mate . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dempy Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Have you got somebody who can pick up your guns and hold them for you? Another ticket holder can go and collect them straight away,,,,, At least then you can concentrate on whats important, I have been exactly where you are at the moment and I know it is not easy, but one word of advice is to shut the computer off and go and get on with things, keep yourself busy and productive. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Sorry to hear, i can only echo what the others have said, kids come first and it sounds like your mrs is being very amicable. If you can both both keep talking calmly and find a way through it then even better. Me and the Mrs went through a very rough patch some years and it was only keeping talking that got us throught it. Hope you can resolve things. Best of british. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nikk Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 You did the right thing actually, get out of the house to clear your head, rather than stay and argue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mad1 Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Sorry to hear about it marine :-( keep your head about things and think carefully before you say or do anything !! I'm pleased to hear your wife is understanding though !! And there is always someone on here day and night if you need to speak to any one ... Anytime !! Good luck in whatever happens Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
al4x Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Ok BASC etc can't actually do anything other than give advice, best advice being talk to your FEO explain the situation and that it was misread by your ex hence the police involvement. Either leave the guns there or get someone to collect them and hold them but thats really only an option if they are non FAC, It will blow over but bearing in mind the situation the guns are safe and out of the way at the moment and in effect in free storage. You will get them back if all is as it sounds and you remain sensible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m3vert Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 That is a total nightmare m8! Sorry to hear this but as has been said before forget about the guns and worry about the important bit! Ask a mate to colelct them and store them on his ticket and then try and sort out your marriage/child care issues! Having been through that part I know how difficult it can be :( Best oh luck!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
la bala Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 hang in there mate, hope you get sorted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Full Pelt Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Stay stong, bud, and take the long view. Be cool, be calm. The guns are not worth the worry ; the police will let you have them back when it's all blown over. We are all here for you if you need to talk. Like many I found the first divorce to be the hardest, so welcome to the club, you are not alone bud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wymberley Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Would it be fair comment to ask if this is down to you - or your job? After a period of service in the armed forces with all the absences from home that this can involve, wifey quite likes the idea of having hubby at home. But then when it doesn't work out like that. Result; one sad and peeved lady equals trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zulu Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Think you should be talking to your FEO , my brother was in a similar postion some yrs ago , he saw the writing on the wall during domestic troubles and police advised him to lodge weapons with me till stablised . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blunderbust Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 (edited) Sorry to hear about your situation Marine 1980, I know it is not easy in this situation but your guns are in a safe place at the moment. Take the time now to show your family that they are the most important thing and once you get that settled then look at getting your guns back. Being rational and showing that you priority is them before your guns is good in both the family and Police eyes. Believe me mate I have been where you are but I was not so lucky as you, in that my wife was not being amicable and I new she would not be. To pre empt this I went to work and took my guns with me and spoke to the station inspector requesting permision to hold my guns in the Armoury until I got myself sorted. Lucky for me that I did as about 2 weeks later she tried to use the fact that I had guns and said thids frightened her. We had also been together for 12 years we up until then had a great relationship and it was a total shocker when she told me she was leaving. I can put my hand on my heart and admit that I was a totaly broken man. I am afraid that patience is now the main thing and making sure that you stay squeeky clean, it is so easy now to let it get to you and before you know it you are in the poo buy getting involved in an unrelated incident because of the way you are feeling. I wish you and your family all the best and hope that you get things sorted soon. Edited October 16, 2012 by Blunderbust Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent Posted October 16, 2012 Report Share Posted October 16, 2012 Been with mrs for nearly 30yrs, it happens but sounds like she is still on your side. Talk the grass is never greener as long as you can talk, kids put a bigger aspect to all this. Guns? you have more important issues to attend to than going shooting, get them transferd to an RFD for storage or a friend if the cops still think there is any issue. If it was over before the row then you would now be feeling relieved- i am guessing you are not, by the fact you came back, she phoned the cops over conserns for your safety and supported you keeping the guns it aint over yet. WORK ON IT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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