English archer Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 After looking on facebook a short while ago, I now know that I have a shameful fact that I feel I need to share.A friend of mine, this morning, appeared on........No I don't think I can say it.......OK, I'll be strong.......JJJeJeremy kyle. Oh god the shame, I'll never be able to talk to him again.How do I ever get over this shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 Move. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscarsdad Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 Was he a dope smoking, violent, alcoholic layabout benefits cheat or the really really skinny bloke who got an enormous fat Munter up the duff? They are the only men that go on there aren't they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English archer Posted October 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 Was he a dope smoking, violent, alcoholic layabout benefits cheat or the really really skinny bloke who got an enormous fat Munter up the duff? They are the only men that go on there aren't they? Bald bloke called Dave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchieboy Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 Was he a dope smoking, violent, alcoholic layabout benefits cheat or the really really skinny bloke who got an enormous fat Munter up the duff? They are the only men that go on there aren't they? OMG! Now we know who watches the Jeremy Kyle Show don't we Oscarsdad - You've as good as admitted it to all on tinternet!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosd Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 (edited) If he give JK a slap? Then you should be proud of him not ashamed!! God that bloke is annoying. Edited October 18, 2013 by Cosd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
la bala Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 sad so and so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscarsdad Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 (edited) OMG! Now we know who watches the Jeremy Kyle Show don't we Oscarsdad - You've as good as admitted it to all on tinternet!! I love watching it - I see it as the equivalent of a natural history programme but studying the divergent part of the homo sapien species - the shallow end of the gene pool proliferated by Gregs the baker and free state hand outs...their breeding pattern is especially fascinating as the female (who is the significantly larger of the two sexes) appears to be permanently receptive to any male who had consumed several pints of super strength lager and smoked something illegal. She displays herself in her favourite curry stained t shirt and some leggings which are several sizes too small and cause one of her bellies to flow over the top. She also carries on her griffin like feet a toe ring - presumably this is some sort of tagging experiment. The offspring appear to fall out of their mothers as frequently as possible and appear to be fertile as soon as they are able to use Facebook, and often become grandparents by the age of 17. The males of the species appear to like to line their (state provided) nests with shiny things from brighthouse and as a mating display show off the size of their LCD HD TV whilst wearing their best and shiniest (fake) Adidas shell suit procured from their local market, showing off his electronic ankle tag like a piece of jewellery. Facial tatoos appear to be especially appealing to the opposite sex. Truly fascinating. Edited October 18, 2013 by oscarsdad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
filzee Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penelope Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 The best summery of the programme that I have ever seen. I love watching it - I see it as the equivalent of a natural history programme but studying the divergent part of the homo sapien species - the shallow end of the gene pool proliferated by Gregs the baker and free state hand outs...their breeding pattern is especially fascinating as the female (who is the significantly larger of the two sexes) appears to be permanently receptive to any male who had consumed several pints of super strength larger and smoked something illegal. She displays herself in her favourite curry stained t shirt and some leggings which are several sizes too small and cause one of her bellies to flow over the top. She also carries on her griffin like feet a toe ring - presumably this is some sort of tagging experiment.The offspring appear to fall out of their mothers as frequently as possible and appear to be fertile as soon as they are able to use Facebook, and often become grandparents by the age of 17.The males of the species appear to like to line their (state provided) nests with shiny things from brighthouse and as a mating display show off the size of their LCD HD TV whilst wearing their best and shiniest (fake) Adidas shell suit procured from their local market, showing off his electronic ankle tag like a piece of jewellery. Facial tatoos appear to be especially appealing to the opposite sex.Truly fascinating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norfolk dumpling Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 Got one of these in social housing a couple of miles from us - 8 kids, fat and ugly but amazingly a ready supply of blokes none of whom have white sticks. You can tell when she is being serviced - strange car in driveway and kids all playing outside whatever the weather. Why aren't they sterilised before they are old enough to breed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rexcernui Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 Not this bloke then? http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yujb_7Oz04Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchieboy Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 My my Oscarsdad, you really have done a very extensive in depth study of the huiman race as seen by the morning TV viewers eyes! Such a conclusive and informative study and report truly deserves a nomination for a Nobel Prize...................Or a bottle of White Lightening! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deaquire Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 I love watching it - I see it as the equivalent of a natural history programme but studying the divergent part of the homo sapien species - the shallow end of the gene pool proliferated by Gregs the baker and free state hand outs...their breeding pattern is especially fascinating as the female (who is the significantly larger of the two sexes) appears to be permanently receptive to any male who had consumed several pints of super strength lager and smoked something illegal. She displays herself in her favourite curry stained t shirt and some leggings which are several sizes too small and cause one of her bellies to flow over the top. She also carries on her griffin like feet a toe ring - presumably this is some sort of tagging experiment. The offspring appear to fall out of their mothers as frequently as possible and appear to be fertile as soon as they are able to use Facebook, and often become grandparents by the age of 17. The males of the species appear to like to line their (state provided) nests with shiny things from brighthouse and as a mating display show off the size of their LCD HD TV whilst wearing their best and shiniest (fake) Adidas shell suit procured from their local market, showing off his electronic ankle tag like a piece of jewellery. Facial tatoos appear to be especially appealing to the opposite sex. Truly fascinating. HA! Anybody else read it in an Attenborough voice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English archer Posted October 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 HA! Anybody else read it in an Attenborough voice? I did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil3728 Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 HA,HA. didn't until you mentioned it Deaquire. makes it so much better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figgy Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 Can imagine Attenbrough standing in the foreground looking over his shoulder narrating the scene. Saying as you can see she is showing her mating face by stuffing a full gregs pasty in her mouth while looking at the tattooed alcoholic layabout sexuctively,I hope she dosent charge at him as is the custom of this species it's not a pretty sight. The sound of all that fat hitting skin and bone is quite frightening. Figgy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscarsdad Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 I might write a play...The Adventure and Conquests of 24St 4ft 6" Sharon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kes Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 (edited) Wasnt it Dr. Desmond Morris that wrote "the Naked Ape" ? I wonder if he recognises the programme. Cant tell myself never actually watched it. Edited October 18, 2013 by Kes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisjpainter Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 If you killed him, I'm pretty sure they'd let you off with self defence, and probably give you victim support counselling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vmaxphil Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 If you killed him, I'm pretty sure they'd let you off with self defence, and probably give you victim support counselling. don't tempt me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 Oh Oscarsdad, you seem to know far too much about the programme, however do you have the time to watch it so much? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigeon controller Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 I love watching it - I see it as the equivalent of a natural history programme but studying the divergent part of the homo sapien species - the shallow end of the gene pool proliferated by Gregs the baker and free state hand outs...their breeding pattern is especially fascinating as the female (who is the significantly larger of the two sexes) appears to be permanently receptive to any male who had consumed several pints of super strength lager and smoked something illegal. She displays herself in her favourite curry stained t shirt and some leggings which are several sizes too small and cause one of her bellies to flow over the top. She also carries on her griffin like feet a toe ring - presumably this is some sort of tagging experiment. The offspring appear to fall out of their mothers as frequently as possible and appear to be fertile as soon as they are able to use Facebook, and often become grandparents by the age of 17. The males of the species appear to like to line their (state provided) nests with shiny things from brighthouse and as a mating display show off the size of their LCD HD TV whilst wearing their best and shiniest (fake) Adidas shell suit procured from their local market, showing off his electronic ankle tag like a piece of jewellery. Facial tatoos appear to be especially appealing to the opposite sex. Truly fascinating. Classic!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno22rf Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 Your safest bet is to not tell ANYBODY-keep your head down and hope that nobody ever finds out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pheasant Feeder Posted October 18, 2013 Report Share Posted October 18, 2013 Flicking through the channels the other morning, I inadvertently stumbled upon Jeremy Kyle, its like car crash TV you know you shouldn't watch it but just cant help yourself! Anyway the two delightful young ladies from Barnsley were arguing over why one had gone off with the others boyfriend. For a brief moment I thought I was listening to a scene from Kes. It was like bible language all thee's, thy's and thou's. On a serious note the genealogists of the future have got their work cut out trying to trace some of this generations family tree's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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