bostonmick Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 (edited) If she is asked her views on guns in the home it could very well complicate your application. However if you go down the route of using your parents home to get your certificate initially then I am sure once she realises it's just your hobby and are no danger to her or your children things may well change.As for posts like upsetting your parents because of early morning collection of gun on shoot day well if you are incapable of entering their home without making enough noise to disturb everyone then perhaps you are to clumsy to handle a gun anyway.your family are the most important part of your life and calls to dump them are simply stupid.in time a compromise will be found to suit everyone.atb Edited January 11, 2016 by bostonmick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingman Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 (edited) When I met my girlfriend (who later became my wife) i had my FAC and had various full bore and gallery rifles in the house (Parker Hale M85, Olympic Arms AR15 and a Blaser LRS2). Early on in our relationship I explained that shooting was "my" sport and was very careful to reinforce that the guns were merely "tools" of the trade to enjoy the sport, they served no other purpose. I certainly didnt bring them down and play with them etc, and she became used to them being in the house. I ended up taking her to Bisley a few times and got her shooting the LRS2 on Century, she enjoyed the experience especially getting on target and the opportunity to meet for herself the type of people that also enjoyed the sport. I sold up and surrendered my FAC when we had our first child but this was mainly as the room I used as my reloading workshop became the nursery and to free up the several thousand pounds of cash tied up in the rifles for our new arrival. I have just got back into shooting and although I dont have an FAC (have no need or interest anymore) I am an SGC holder and have my guns in the house. I think its important to explain the context of the sport and as others have said try and get her involved if you can. We have both been involved in country pursuits and this is just another example of that so I think avoiding to focus on the actual tool involved and concentrate on the sport itself is important. I also made some self imposed guidelines that have helped, I dont hold any cartridges only purchasing what I need for each shoot. If I go rough shooting then my friend has access to carts so there is no need for me to have any in the house. I also clean my guns in my garage workshop so exposure by the kids is limited, however we dont actually make an issue of it or actually stopping them as that just reinforces the view that the guns are bad or in some way "naughty" There are some that seem to blur these lines a little which could to uninitiated be viewed as the "American" attitude to guns. For example why the hell does someone need a tactical type shotgun for pigeon shooting there is no valid reason that I can see why its any better than a normal pump or semi... Just my view though! Good luck I know it can be a tough one but a little give and take should do the trick! Edited January 11, 2016 by Wingman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westward Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 I've been married to the same woman for almost 43 years and I can offer this advice: This is not really about guns, it's about the dynamic in a relationship. Regardless of her hormonal state and if this really matters to you, then for the sake of your family and especially your children, explain to her that the only way a relationship can survive long term is if the 2 people function as a team. Sometimes she will need your backing or help and sometimes you will need her to support you, whether it's dealing with the kids, fixing the toaster or planning a holiday. One partner imposing unreasonable or unfair controls on the other, against their wishes, is not teamwork and the festering resentment that it causes does not bode well for the future of the relationship. Life was so much simpler 50 years ago when women still wanted to be women and men wanted to be men because everyone knew where they stood and what the rules were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Les*1066 Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 I know I'm about 6 pages too late here, but my advice would be to keep the guns in the house and lose the girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Underdog Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 I've been married to the same woman for almost 43 years and I can offer this advice: This is not really about guns, it's about the dynamic in a relationship. Regardless of her hormonal state and if this really matters to you, then for the sake of your family and especially your children, explain to her that the only way a relationship can survive long term is if the 2 people function as a team. Sometimes she will need your backing or help and sometimes you will need her to support you, whether it's dealing with the kids, fixing the toaster or planning a holiday. One partner imposing unreasonable or unfair controls on the other, against their wishes, is not teamwork and the festering resentment that it causes does not bode well for the future of the relationship. Life was so much simpler 50 years ago when women still wanted to be women and men wanted to be men because everyone knew where they stood and what the rules were. +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rewulf Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 Ive always been fascinated by the 'nesting' instinct in women who are close to giving birth. I say instinct, because most times they dont even know they are doing it ! Asking a woman who is even remotely feeling this way,if you can bring a firearm into the 'nest' is not going to be met with good cheer. I personally,would fit the cabinet at your parents,pursue your shooting ,and when the dust has settled,bring the cabinet home. Its ok people saying on here that you must stand up to her,but like others have said,when she is feeling vunerable and perhaps overly cautious ,due to impending birthing,then it might be wise to cut her some slack. For your peace of mind ,and hers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_G Posted January 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 Ive always been fascinated by the 'nesting' instinct in women who are close to giving birth. I say instinct, because most times they dont even know they are doing it ! Asking a woman who is even remotely feeling this way,if you can bring a firearm into the 'nest' is not going to be met with good cheer. I personally,would fit the cabinet at your parents,pursue your shooting ,and when the dust has settled,bring the cabinet home. Its ok people saying on here that you must stand up to her,but like others have said,when she is feeling vunerable and perhaps overly cautious ,due to impending birthing,then it might be wise to cut her some slack. For your peace of mind ,and hers. There have been loads of replies on here all saying the same thing as you, and thanks to all for taking the time to reply. It's this I agree with really. I suppose it may have been a mistake applying while she is pregnant, however it was more of a natural progression from using the club guns etc and I didn't really consider it would be an problem since she didn't have any issues with me shooting in the first place. Lessons learnt there. I'll be calling the FEO this week to see if it is possible have a safe at my folks (who are happy with it) and go from there. Thanks all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westward Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 Well I've given you my suggestions but I will add this. Sneaking around, trying to outsmart your partner whilst mistakenly believing that her brain has stopped functioning due to pregnancy, is not a wise course and may well come back to haunt you. I truly feel that you can't trump irrational ideas with deviousness and IMO honesty is the only sensible policy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_G Posted January 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 Well I've given you my suggestions but I will add this. Sneaking around, trying to outsmart your partner whilst mistakenly believing that her brain has stopped functioning due to pregnancy, is not a wise course and may well come back to haunt you. I truly feel that you can't trump irrational ideas with deviousness and IMO honesty is the only sensible policy. Who is being devious? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam1e Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 See this a lot, men frightened of upsetting the little woman. So much so they capitulate and compromise on everything. That is an un trusting and disrespectful relationship and destined for failure! Be kind but grow a pair. Crack on. +1....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 How much time do you spend shooting? Could the no gun in the house be more about time management? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potshot Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 (edited) The point you need to make to your partner is that the LAW requires that no-one has access to the keys or the location of the keys for the safe other than yourself - NOT her, absolutely NOT your kids and NOT even the FEO. And the law requires that you keep your guns secure at all times, that means under lock and key, except when you are actually using them. So no-one except you has access to them so there is no problem! Edited January 11, 2016 by potshot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobbyathome Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 mr g my opinion on this is get a cabinet in your dads and just tell your feo this is where you will store your gun its ok for everyone on here to tell you to get a new girlfriend or man up etc but the reality is she doesn't want guns around don't bait her just take your time put a cabinet in your loft and tell her its just in case your dad is out when you want to take your gun back after going to the clay ground and you need it just for emergencys you can work on her over a period of time to get your guns in women can be really funny when guns are mentioned as a lot of posts before when you go take her with you a couple of times when she sees women shooting down there she might lighten up a bit best of luck.rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Footu Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 Install the cabinet in the loft. Get ur gun n put it in there. There is no reason for her to ever see it, or the kids. It's a sort of compromise. Thus was my approach.it was a fire safe/holiday safe for cash and jewels etc. Now I have 6 guns in it under the ammo compartment which can still be used as promised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westward Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 Who is being devious? You don't know much about women do you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadkill Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 I would just go ahead and apply for a sec, fit the cabinet and get a gun. It's a unreasonable request and if you back down what next? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftycarper Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 I've been married to the same woman for almost 43 years and I can offer this advice: This is not really about guns, it's about the dynamic in a relationship. Regardless of her hormonal state and if this really matters to you, then for the sake of your family and especially your children, explain to her that the only way a relationship can survive long term is if the 2 people function as a team. Sometimes she will need your backing or help and sometimes you will need her to support you, whether it's dealing with the kids, fixing the toaster or planning a holiday. One partner imposing unreasonable or unfair controls on the other, against their wishes, is not teamwork and the festering resentment that it causes does not bode well for the future of the relationship. Life was so much simpler 50 years ago when women still wanted to be women and men wanted to be men because everyone knew where they stood and what the rules were. +2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dob Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 I have not read all of the posts on here but does or did she have a hobby? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyB Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 I just relayed your problem to my gf and she said 'what's her problem? It's locked in a steel vault!' One thing I have done which may be a good idea in your case is to also buy a combination lock key safe for the keys. That stops the kids opening the cabinet if they get inquisitive. Or do what I would do. Find something she really enjoys doing and then take a totally irrational dislike to it and say she can't do it any more. Refuse to discuss it reasonably if she tries. Then find something else she likes doing and do it again. Also at the same time be really ******* grumpy and sulky. When she finally asks what would cheer you up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sian Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 The point you need to make to your partner is that the LAW requires that no-one has access to the keys or the location of the keys for the safe other than yourself - NOT her, absolutely NOT your kids and NOT even the FEO. And the law requires that you keep your guns secure at all times, that means under lock and key, except when you are actually using them. So no-one except you has access to them so there is no problem! I think you miss the point and I'll be blunt as I've spoken privately to Mr G her anxiety is not that they are safely tucked away, her anxiety is that there is a lethal weapon that only one of them has access to. She is highly sensitive at this stage of her pregnancy unless you have experienced it you can't possibly know what hormones can make you think of and not always rationally. Most folk do not see the need for guns at all, it's as simple as that unfortunately. They do not share our love of shooting sports and guns. They don't care if we have them as they don't see a need for them. Guns have such a terrible reputation a bit like sharks OT plane crashes. It only takes one time to have devastating consequences and that is all people outside of our shooting fraternity think. If she can be introduced slowly through off site storage, goes along with the kids eventually then everyone gets what they want. I'm not suggesting Mr G would do anything by the way at all but her mind is running wild. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superspark Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 (edited) Yep, trade her in for a gun loving bird. You can't go round rapping children up in cotton wool and she needs to understand this. Edited January 11, 2016 by superspark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil3728 Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 I had something similar with my Mrs, safety of the children was her main concern. I am lucky we have a normal staircase which leads to the loft. So I was able to fix the cabinet into the loft out of the way, the door to the loft is locked and the key out of reach of the children. I also made sure not to have the guns around the house when the kids were around at first. So cleaning ect was done only once they were in bed. They soon all got use to them in the house and its usual for cartridges to be scattered around after a shoot. I know take the kids to the clay range with me teaching them basic safety along the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team tractor Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 The only thing I have to ask is ...... Do you have knives in the kitchen?? Tell her the first thing people go for is kitchen knives Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HDAV Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 (edited) Meh, it's a hobby, guns are normal, that's life, cars kill far more people both drivers and none drivers bet you have a car and even put the kids in the car. She's a women some aren't wired quite right it's not her fault..... Take up darts spend 3 nights a week in the pub and all your money, put on a few stone, ignore the kids and she'll be happy right....... Edited January 11, 2016 by HDAV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieT Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 She is highly sensitive at this stage of her pregnancy unless you have experienced it you can't possibly know what hormones can make you think of and not always rationally. They do not share our love of shooting sports and guns. They don't care if we have them as they don't see a need for them. Guns have such a terrible reputation a bit like sharks OT plane crashes. It only takes one time to have devastating consequences and that is all people outside of our shooting fraternity think. I'm not suggesting Mr G would do anything by the way at all but her mind is running wild. After reading this, I thank the Lord my wife does'nt have any of these hormone things. If she had, I'd have locked her in the cabinet and taken the gun to bed !! You never know, instead of two ugly daughters I could have sired a .410 and a twenty bore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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