My Fella's Cooking is terrible

[Winston72]

26 minutes ago, davewh100 said:

lol your a bad lad 

I Find that hard to swallow

[logstove]

a tin of soup and chips..bread and butter..and a nice cup of tea.

[Winston72]

come on lads somebody must actually "cook"

[loriusgarrulus]

How about snitzel pork chops with cucumber and onion pickle. German potato salad, which has cooked small potatoes, sweet apple, onion, hard boiled eggs, smoked german belly pork steeped overnight in salad cream (not mayonaise) Cauliflower with burnt butter sauce.

Edited May 1, 2018 by loriusgarrulus

[chrisjpainter]

4 minutes ago, Winston72 said:

come on lads somebody must actually "cook"

I genuinely can! But this isn't about cooking, this is about revelling in pollution!

I love a good kebab. But then the other day I cooked grilled sea bass fillet with sliced fresh ginger and chillies on a bed of spring onion and lightly butter fried leek. 

[loriusgarrulus]

Or stir fry diced peppered steak and set to one side. Stir fry diced or sliced onion, red and green peppers, peas, sweetcorn, carrot, celery and mushroom. Meanwhile cook some long grain rice.  Add steak and cooked drained rice to wok and a carton of cream. Cook for few more minutes them sprinkle  with plenty of lemon juice, stir and serve.

[Winston72]

3 minutes ago, chrisjpainter said:

I genuinely can! But this isn't about cooking, this is about revelling in pollution!

I love a good kebab. But then the other day I cooked grilled sea bass fillet with sliced fresh ginger and chillies on a bed of spring onion and lightly butter fried leek. 

Can i come to play at your house and stop for tea? (possibly called Dinner down south)

1 minute ago, loriusgarrulus said:

Or stir fry diced peppered steak and set to one side. Stir fry diced or sliced onion, red and green peppers, peas, sweetcorn, carrot, celery and mushroom. Meanwhile cook some long grain rice.  Add steak and cooked drained rice to wok and a carton of cream. Cook for few more minutes them sprinkle  with plenty of lemon juice, stir and serve.

now we are getting somewhere

[winnie&bezza]

I do like a cheese, marmite and cucumber sandwich. Also a spaghetti Bolognese is rather nice ?

I chucked together a diced goat dish the other day.

diced goat, diced red onion, maple syrup, five spice, cumin (oi oi winston ?), chili powder, curry powder, stock cube and soy sauc. Served with noodles and was really nice surprisingly.

[loriusgarrulus]

Chop a pack of cooking bacon up about 500g and stir fry with rough chopped onion in some butter. Add to slow cooker with chopped carrot swede, turnip and leek, chicken stock cube, worcester sauce and black pepper and cover with plenty of boiling water. Leave to cook allday. Thicken with cornflour and gravy salt or use gravy granuals before serving with either crusty bread or add suet dumplings 1/2 hour before serving.

You can use chicken, beef or mutton instead of bacon.

Edited May 1, 2018 by loriusgarrulus

[amateur]

 

35 minutes ago, Winston72 said:

come on lads somebody must actually "cook"

Just go to the food section and read up this topic

https://forums.pigeonwatch.co.uk/forums/topic/359748-very-novice-recipes-wanted/

 

[stumfelter]

6 hours ago, loriusgarrulus said:

Aldi's Strachan honeycomb ice cream with their cranberry and white chocolate cookies crumbled into it. Far too many calories but lush.

One that is served on can't be bothered to cook days is Slogg, which is a can of baked beans, a can of stewing steak and a can of potatoes with half the water drained out all mixed together in a saucepan, heated thouroughly and served. Good one for camping too.

We can both cook very well though and do lots of healthy eating too, but our version of healthy eating is not everybodies.

Never heard of slogg before but it sounds like something I'd enjoy.

[strimmer_13]

4 crumpets layered with butter, chuck some cheese on top, grill till the cheese is starting to go soft, put a fried egg on each, then a tin of Branston (not that heinz rubbish) beans over the lot. Leave for 1 min and it turns into a gooey mess. 

Divine. 

[Mice!]

4 hours ago, Scully said:

I specialise in cooking poached eggs and to mix them with anything but toast and butter ( unless it’s on top of cheese on toast !)  is criminal

you'll have to back that comment up I'm afraid, its like battle of the eggs in our house, i do a great boiled egg wife does great poached eggs.

so how do you do yours?

[loriusgarrulus]

I have tried that new method of scrambled eggs. It works very well and the eggs are nice and moist.

Put some salted water onto boil. Whisk eggs up in a jug. When water fully boiling start stirring the water to swirl it and slowly pour the egg into the water stirring all the time. After about 40 seconds remove from heat and pour contents of pan through a rough sieve and let water drain off. Put back in pan, mix with a little melted butter. Serve on toast. Pepper as liked, but salt not needed.

Edited May 1, 2018 by loriusgarrulus

[loriusgarrulus]

Two other meals.

One is rolled breast of lamb, hot smoked in the woodman smoker over hickory chips. I put a stainless bowl in the bottom basket to catch the meat juices to make a smokey gravy. Served with green beans, carrots new potatoes and mint sauce.

The other is Salmon cooked in butter and dill in a casserole dish in the microwave served with jacket potato and green beans.

[The gouse]

Tin tomatoes in the pan then great cheddar cheese and Cheshire white cheese.

then the next pan two fresh eggs milk whisk then more cheese. Then put on 4x white toast. It looks like sick but nice

then let the wife clean pans when she gets up.

[Howling Hound]

Tuna and picallily sandwich toated is actually very nice. Found this out in my student days when it was the only things in the cupboard and the only cash I had would only get me 10 fags.

[Scully]

2 hours ago, Mice! said:

you'll have to back that comment up I'm afraid, its like battle of the eggs in our house, i do a great boiled egg wife does great poached eggs.

so how do you do yours?

Happy to. I listened to a debate on the Chris Evans show on R2 regarding this last year some time and it drove me bonkers! All manner of people with all manner of techniques such as adding vinegar ( all this does is make your egg taste of vinegar ) and swirling the water prior to dropping in the egg etc etc. 

Anyhow; put as much water as necessary in a good pan with a thick heat conducting base and put on full heat. Wait for substantial bubbles ( but not boiling as this tends to bash your eggs to bits before they have time to form )  to form on bottom of pan then gently drop in your eggs and remove from the heat. The heat stored in the bottom of the pan will cook your eggs to soft yolked perfection in a few minutes...keep checking them to ensure they don't overcook. Simple. My kids and my OH love me poaching eggs for them. 

If using an ordinary thin bottomed pan, once you've dropped in your eggs reduce heat by half or even further and carry on as above. 

Edited to add: the whole point of the bubbles is to keep the eggs from sticking to the pan bottom. 

Edited May 1, 2018 by Scully

[old man]

Muntjac with blackberry jus.

[grrclark]

4 hours ago, Scully said:

Happy to. I listened to a debate on the Chris Evans show on R2 regarding this last year some time and it drove me bonkers! All manner of people with all manner of techniques such as adding vinegar ( all this does is make your egg taste of vinegar ) and swirling the water prior to dropping in the egg etc etc. 

Anyhow; put as much water as necessary in a good pan with a thick heat conducting base and put on full heat. Wait for substantial bubbles ( but not boiling as this tends to bash your eggs to bits before they have time to form )  to form on bottom of pan then gently drop in your eggs and remove from the heat. The heat stored in the bottom of the pan will cook your eggs to soft yolked perfection in a few minutes...keep checking them to ensure they don't overcook. Simple. My kids and my OH love me poaching eggs for them. 

If using an ordinary thin bottomed pan, once you've dropped in your eggs reduce heat by half or even further and carry on as above. 

Edited to add: the whole point of the bubbles is to keep the eggs from sticking to the pan bottom. 

That poached egg debate rattled me as well.  I find it staggering how so many people are unable to poach an egg, but then again I also find it staggering how so many can't follow a straight line with a saw, strike a match without looking like they have 5 thumbs, sharpen a pencil with a knife, etc.

Poached egg = gentle boil, no salt in the water and a fresh egg.  What can be simpler?

[Scully]

1 minute ago, grrclark said:

That poached egg debate rattled me as well.  I find it staggering how so many people are unable to poach an egg, but then again I also find it staggering how so many can't follow a straight line with a saw, strike a match without looking like they have 5 thumbs, sharpen a pencil with a knife, etc.

Poached egg = gentle boil, no salt in the water and a fresh egg.  What can be simpler?

Ditto. I know exactly what you mean regarding the sawing, match striking and pencil sharpening. Knocking nails in with a hammer is another; one of the simplest tasks going but some can make it look like they are handicapped! 

[chrisjpainter]

Did you have to start this thread? I am now craving a kebab more than is reasonable.

[grrclark]

25 minutes ago, Scully said:

Ditto. I know exactly what you mean regarding the sawing, match striking and pencil sharpening. Knocking nails in with a hammer is another; one of the simplest tasks going but some can make it look like they are handicapped! 

Indeed, however if you visit some James Martin restaurants, bringing it back round to food, you can enjoy a fish that has been nailed to a chopping board for presentation purposes.  I guess proving at least one cook can chap a nail in as well, there is hope

Edited May 1, 2018 by grrclark

[Mice!]

4 hours ago, loriusgarrulus said:

Two other meals.

One is rolled breast of lamb, hot smoked in the woodman smoker over hickory chips. I put a stainless bowl in the bottom basket to catch the meat juices to make a smokey gravy. Served with green beans, carrots new potatoes and mint sauce.

The other is Salmon cooked in butter and dill in a casserole dish in the microwave served with jacket potato and green beans.

I want to know what time Sunday dinner is, yum yum

4 hours ago, Scully said:

Happy to. I listened to a debate on the Chris Evans show on R2 regarding this last year some time and it drove me bonkers! All manner of people with all manner of techniques such as adding vinegar ( all this does is make your egg taste of vinegar ) and swirling the water prior to dropping in the egg etc etc. 

Anyhow; put as much water as necessary in a good pan with a thick heat conducting base and put on full heat. Wait for substantial bubbles ( but not boiling as this tends to bash your eggs to bits before they have time to form )  to form on bottom of pan then gently drop in your eggs and remove from the heat. The heat stored in the bottom of the pan will cook your eggs to soft yolked perfection in a few minutes...keep checking them to ensure they don't overcook. Simple. My kids and my OH love me poaching eggs for them. 

If using an ordinary thin bottomed pan, once you've dropped in your eggs reduce heat by half or even further and carry on as above. 

Edited to add: the whole point of the bubbles is to keep the eggs from sticking to the pan bottom. 

thanks scully, i prefer cooking boiled eggs because i know there going to be spot on every time, but I'll be having a play this week.

[moose man]

5 hours ago, grrclark said:

Indeed, however if you visit some James Martin restaurants, bringing it back round to food, you can enjoy a fish that has been nailed to a chopping board for presentation purposes.  I guess proving at least one cook can chap a nail in as well, there is hope

Gets my goat why all of a sudden we have gone back in time and eat food of a piece of wood , or roof slate as is now the fashion in my local ..I always ask for a plate ..