Fatcatsplat

Send a few dogs swimming - Generally works.

Sanitised and dramatised to make good TV. Shame really.

Blooming awful pain - Like toothache in the foot!! Ibuprofen, diclofenac or naproxen are your friends here - Individually and not collectively!! Lots of water and allopurinol is the way forward.

Vodka, sugar syrup (10 tsp sugar and about 100mls boiling water - Stir until dissolved and then let cool) and the zest (not the pith or the juice) of half a dozen lemons. Mix, shake and add the sugar syrup over time to get the sweetness right. Goes a lovely radioactive yellow!! Give it at least a month - The longer, the better

Mince up some pheasant or duck into them as well - Bit of supermarket puff pastry and they really are dead easy to knock out

Truffle roulette - Knock up some basic chocolate truffles, but stuff half a dozen with sprouts - It's an amusing end to a meal

Was the dog standing with a basket in that right hand corner catching them?

Excellent!

That's absolutely lovely. Really nice clean lines and practical.

That's uber xl or exec and they're more expensive - Nice little green prius does me fine

Very true - But i live a 30 minute drive from the city - 50 miles and an hour out of your day for £30? There's a living wage there. Don't forget the 5 minute journeys for a tenner that black cabs hate doing. I have a lot of Black Cab drivers as friends and Uber was killing their trade, but i've never seen a poor black cab driver - There needs to be a compromise somewhere on pricing between the two that's commercially viable. Uber also: Will go south of the river Have an app that works Happily take cashless payment and don't moan about the card machine being on the blink Don't moan about the Tories/Labour/Immigrants/How bad their job is all the way home Are available on a dismal wet night in November when there ain't a black cab in sight Don't look at you like you've pee'd on their chips when they have been on a rank for half an hour and you only want to go just down the road

Er........I wasn't saying that at all actually. I was saying Uber are cheaper, but hey ho!

If i get a black cab home from the office after a night out, it's around £120.00 on the meter. You might get lucky and get one to fix you a price and get away with £100.00. Uber is £40.00 It's a very convincing argument

I made several jars of Cowboy Candy this year - Absolutely gone down a treat. Really good as a little side accompaniment to pretty much anything and switches a cheese toastie up several gears.

I was in Edinburgh last year and the food scene has gone mental up there - The quality of produce and methods of serving it are both damn tasty and very inventive - Kitchin in Leith, Forage and Chatter and then Angel With Bagpipes all blew me away. I'm all over the place with food - I love a bacon sandwich on cheap white bread, a doner kebab and i'm no stranger to KFC, but i do love to go to good Michelin starred restaurants and have what a lot of people would call poncey food that wouldn't fill a dormouse. The flavours, textures and just the whole experience is sublime - It's not all about stuffing yer face!! If you don't get it, you don't get it and that's fine - If all you want is a plain steak and chips, crack on.