Bullying

[adzyvilla]

Seems like he certainly made an impression on you at a subconscious level, perhaps there's more about him and your past that you can't remember or have chosen to forget (after all it was a long time ago).

I wasn't really bullied at school as I was at the time rather laid back and not easy to wind up (I appear to have got a shorter temper as I've aged).  There was one person who got under my skin and I still think about to this day nearly 30 years hence, but I never really resolved the problem like I should have. He was older than me and had a problem with my older brother which he tried to take out on me as my brother had moved on to college. I never really knew what the problem was but it all came to a head one day when he hit me across the back with a piece of wood in the woodworking room. My instinct was to turn around and swing my fist at him but he moved backwards and I must have missed him by a fraction of an inch. I have no doubt if the punch had connected he would have gone down like a sack of potatoes as I was a strong lad even then. Both shocked at that point, my teacher waded in and took me away and there wasn't any other problems after that. To this day I often find myself wondering what would have happened if that punch had connected and how my life may have turned out as a result.

[Shadowchaser]

28 minutes ago, adzyvilla said:

Seems like he certainly made an impression on you at a subconscious level, perhaps there's more about him and your past that you can't remember or have chosen to forget (after all it was a long time ago).

 

If that's aimed at me, you could be right.  

However even these days I'll have people mention my slim frame in a negative way.  If there's a gust of wind at work one of the lads might say "be careful you don't want to blow away."  I can take a joke, but it's obviously something that people notice about me. 

 

[the hitman]

Bullying should never be ignored whether at school or in the work place.

I was never bullied at school- possibly because I had an older brother who liked a tear up ( typical geordie) .

I work on a school and any students under my care who are accused of bullying and I have evidence -will leave my office a very tearful and snotty mess.

This is a mostly male dominated site - it would be interesting to have a female perspective as they can be awful to each other.

[Wilts#Dave]

2 hours ago, Shadowchaser said:

If that's aimed at me, you could be right.  

However even these days I'll have people mention my slim frame in a negative way.  If there's a gust of wind at work one of the lads might say "be careful you don't want to blow away."  I can take a joke, but it's obviously something that people notice about me. 

 

I think you can let things like that bother you or just embrace it, as there are physical attributes we all have we’d probably rather not have but can’t change. 
I’m pretty short and get reminded of the fact fairly often by people in jest (as if I didn’t realise), it’s an easy thing to pick on I think but it’s certainly never held me back in any way (being short that is), so I’m still not sure what the fascination is! 
I’ve never been properly ‘bullied‘ though, as my nature wouldn’t generally allow it. 
I think bullying goes on through life in all sorts of ways, but is usually fairly easy to stamp out with choice words rather than having to resort to punching someone.
I do feel sorry for people who have a really soft nature (which you can’t change really) as bully’s see them as an easy target to make themselves feel better, which is why bully’s do what they do. It’s an awful trait in anyone, being a bully. 

[Mice!]

On 09/06/2023 at 21:59, oowee said:

It must be pretty deep if these things stay with you and eat away at your insides. I was a bully to some and bullied by others but never gave any of it a thought until reading this. It's all so long past. 

I do remember force feeding loadybogs (an Italian kid) sand. Why? I simply can't remember.

I can relate to a lot of these, but this is probably the most accurate. 

One kid at high school would constantly take the Mic in a sly why trying to put me down, I'm proud we grew up rough, everything was saved for or earned,  he certainly got his just deserved rewards in school 😆😆 how I got away with that one I'll never know.

Those who are still thinking about these things so many years later it must be because you didn't feel you got what you wanted, no justice. 

On 10/06/2023 at 09:33, Mungler said:

Your own  successes in life are the best form of any revenge or retribution. 

Sums it up great, I rarely think about school, I'll still see some lads at rugby that I've known for 40 years otherwise school was done with a long time ago.

@Rob85 I saw this a while back and thought yes! We were told don't start fights, walk away,  but if you can't then go all in, at school if you started a fight with me or my brother you new it wasn't going to be a bit of slapping. 

 

bullying though these days is very different,  it's been mentioned above about social media,  kids play games on X boxes and such and can talk to each other, or gang up on others, and carry it on in school. Several parents have now put games consoles and such where they can see and hear what goes on.

There has been some goes on in my lads class, it took another kid not involved going to a teacher in tears before something was done, despite it being reported. 

I've spoken to the parents of the kid getting bullied and said just tell him to thump one of them, it's been reported,  looked at but still goes on, some schools these days seem to move the kid getting bullied rather than addressing the bullying,  play over there, stay away from those kids.

If it were my lad or lass getting bullied I'd have no quarms at all telling them what to do, a quick punch usually stopped most bullying rather than it going on and on to the point it makes kids ill. 

[Dougy]

I was bullied for years through senior school. 

One day I decided I'd had enough and took revenge each opportunity I got. 

As the saying goes "Revenge is best served cold" 

1st was a lad that emptied my school bag all over the corridor. He got one on the end of his nose, inch perfect. 

2 others got floored in class register room. 

Seemed to get allot less attention from those kind of people after those encounter. 

Got the cane though for dishing out their just deserts. Was a small price I paid. 

 

 

 

[semi-auto]

I was bullied mercilessly at primary school, by a couple of kids and teachers. As something of a context, my mother was German and this was less some six years after the war. As a young child, I was quite sickly and for some, apart from my heritage, therefore a good target. 'Nazi' was the favourite name calling - that and other less desirable names like 'Gestapo', etc. It often resulted in my going home with a number of bruises. I never told my mum as I didn't want to upset her.  It was no good in appealing to teachers, as they were clearly in sympathy with the bullies, telling me not to make a fuss. When I started secondary school, it started again. Lord knows how he found out about my mother, as after my primary school experiences, it wasn't something I readily advertised. I decided, to draw a line, and during the next break, I sought him out and invited him to repeat what he had said. Needless to say, he bottled it and apologised. Apart from one other student, to whom I administered a a thorough beating, I never had any further problems. 

[marsh man]

We had our infants and junior school in the village where I was born and what little I remember of my early schooling was there was very little , if any bullying at all , we were virtually all in the same boat with very little money and any school uniform was unheard of , the kids very soon learnt how to look after themselves and everything went along quiet smoothly .

It wasn't till we moved on after the 11+ thats things started to change , at the senior school a lot of kids thought they were better than you because they were nicely all kitted out in a smart uniform and some of them had prefects badges on the blazer lapel , I had a pair  Grey trousers and a tie and that was as far as my uniform went , the odd one or two thought they could order you about because of the badge they wore , they were very soon stopped when the odd one got a smack and were put in his place , schooling then to me wasn't the best years of my life and any so called bullying was sorted out there and then .

Some of the teachers were worse than the kids and one episode still stick in my fading memory bank , we had a sports teacher called Mr Chilvers , one day it was to wet to go outside so we had the lesson in the class room , he was running on about something and I was having a yarn with the boy who was sitting next to me , all of a sudden he shouted my surname out and the next thing I knew he chucked a cricket ball at me as hard as he could , it smacked on the edge of my desk and missed me by inches , I had no more to do than picked it off the floor and chucked it back as hard as I could , it just missed him and smacked into the Black board , all the kids burst out laughing and he just couldn't see the funny side , he came flying over to me , grabed me by my shoulder and carted me off to see the head master , I then had to explain what I done , I told him if Mr Chilvers hadn't chucked the cricket ball at me that could have caused me some serious damage then there would had been no reason for me to chuck it back , after trying to point me in the right direction he could see the logic of my ways and nothing more was said or done ,  MM

[London Best]

At school I was caught, age 16, ‘settling a score’ with another lad. 
I was hauled before the headmaster, who called me a bully because I was an inch or two taller than the other lad. I argued that didn’t make me a bully. 
The headmaster lost it completely and started pushing me around in his office, saying, “How do you like it? What would you do if someone bigger than you pushes you around?” 
I showed him right there and then. I knocked him right over his desk. 
I was suspended for a week and was very luck not to be expelled.

[oowee]

This all reminds me of the time I was queuing for a bus in Coventry City Centre. I was on the way to school as a 17 year old testosterone fuelled youth. The bus was parked up and i was at the front of the que early morning. A row of people behind me all waiting patiently. 

Out of the blue a bloke walks past me pushes a lever and makes to get on the bus. I grab him by his bag and say something like ' there's a flipping que here get to the fliing back.'. To which he replied yes seen that and I am the bus driver 🤣🤣🤣         ooops 

[TIGHTCHOKE]

And it has all been down hill from that point eh?

[marsh man]

I think one of the reasons we didn't have any bullying in the juniors school was because we went there in 1954 which was just after the 53 East coast floods , we lost everything along with many of the other kids who lived in the village , we didn't know it at the time that all the clothes we were wearing were donated by the good folk up and down the UK , at the time the workmen were still repairing the river walls where the high tide breached many places that were on the edge of our village , the new siren was put on the school roof and every time we got a slightly higher tide than normal the siren went off and we had to leave the school as soon as possible , the school itself was very victorian and very often the heating pipes would all freeze and we would sit in the classrooms with a overcoat and scarf on , if there was no hot water we would go in a couple of nearby houses that did had hot water so we could wash on hands before dinner , like I said we were all in the same boat and the people who lived in the village were the salt of the earth and I think that was why bullying didn't rear it's ugly head , that came a bit later in life when some of the people thought they were better than the kids that came off the island , they soon found out that we were not the kind of kids to be walked over .   MM

[ditchman]

i dont often name drop or open my private life...but i went to school with Jerermy Wade (river monsters)...we were mailing each other a few years ago about the appalling treatment and beatings we had at school....Jerermy's younger brother was totally  traumertised during his brief stay

i was whipped remorslesly...until the backs of my legs went watery with flecks of blood ...this was done at night ...matron used to wake you at night and take you down to the senior masters common room...where i would have to drop my jim-jams and spread my hands across the back of the sofa...every time i flinched i would get an extra whip.....this was done by the HM who stunk of whiskey

when i got out of bed in the morning there were red strips on the sheets

and it didnt end there........it made me very hard and very very uncaring and bloody minded.......it was brutal........

[Ian willetts]

Ditchy get this out in the open there’s been a case brought up against staff in a borstal up our way very resently if not for you for all the other poor souls suffered from the staff at your school 

[ditchman]

13 minutes ago, Ian willetts said:

Ditchy get this out in the open there’s been a case brought up against staff in a borstal up our way very resently if not for you for all the other poor souls suffered from the staff at your school 

they are all dead now.......the french teacher used to creep up behind you at prep and slosh you ...and make your ear drum bleed......the place is an up market hotel now........but by christ it was seriously brutal....i purposly failed all my subjects so my father would treat me as a waste of money and withdraw me before i took conmmon entrance........

he did withdraw me and i got sent to local secondary modern ...which i loved...then i went to agricultural school after that and passed everything including NCA with distinction...........

all in the past now..