chrisjh Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 (edited) Just a thought, it was reported that a woman who followed and used social media to challenge the McCann's on the disappearance of their daughter has been found dead, this isn't the first time someone who has used the anonymity of social media once outed has been severely embarrassed. Do people hide behind the keyboard would they be as open and honest with an opinion if they were face to face, Edited October 6, 2014 by chrisjh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fse10 Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 I would say some people, yes they do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun4860 Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Sky news outed her last week.... went to her house confronted her, mini interview. briefly mentioned her passing in a throwaway sort of comment today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdsallpl Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 I think a lot of people write things on forums that they wouldn't say face to face. I don't know why because a little courtesy and a lot of diplomacy is usually a lot more receptive than a perceived ignoramus just being aggressive or confrontational. Sadly also a lot of people receiving these types of comments retaliate in a likewise manner instead of just ignoring them and treating with the contempt they warrant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reece Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 (edited) Yes, people hide behind keyboards all the time. They say things on the internet they would never say in real life. Reminds me of this: Edited October 6, 2014 by Reece Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STOTTO Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 The worst in people will always be a hidden part of their character, it would appear that the prospect of anonymity for some causes it to be revealed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobbyathome Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 of course they do people can vent there anger/stupidity without any comeback and they can say snide comments and get away with it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdsallpl Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 (edited) Just looked at the title of the post again and have decided to add that possibly Forums DONT bring the worst out in people. I think people that post aggressive and confrontational comments are usually always like that. They're going to be rude and ignorant in most walks of their lives. We have all experienced these people. Just talk to most shop assistance they have all met them. Edited October 6, 2014 by birdsallpl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bry-M Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 it's the ability to be rude/aggressive/confrontational without any comeback whatsoever that lets people reply on forums without any thought to their behaviour. i wonder if in person most of these people are too timid to say things the way they do on here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zapp Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Undoubtedly. Not only are people far more aggressive and confrontational, but they can also be far more cruel and vindictive than they ever would be in a normal social setting. People often put it down to whether people would/wouldnt say things for fear of getting a thick ear, but I think it is more complicated, and comes down to the (incorrect) assumption of anonymity, the dehumanising effect of typing words into a computer and the fact that you cant see the real reaction of the other person. As such, you might think you are having a great time winding someone up or getting a 'bite' out of them, but they may actually be very deeply hurt or upset by what is posted. If we were talking to someone and they were visibly hurt/offended/tearful, everyone but a complete sociopath would back off, but because that human connection isnt there we can project the reaction we want to see onto the recipient - imagining them getting more and more comically red faced and angry, when what you actually may be doing is ruining someone's day for the sake of a quick bit of entertainment. Another interesting facet of forum communication is that it brings out the fantasists and attention whores in droves. Many a time we have seen people on here pretend to be something they arent or invent scenarios to ensure they are the centre of attention. It happens all the time on forums, but I can recall instances on here of people falsely claiming to have been in the special forces, or to be very ill, or to have been victims of made up crimes, or to just make up unlikely nonsense seemingly out of boredom or a need to feel loved or pitied. Again, it may all seem harmless enough in the context of the dehumanised "one account talking to another" scenario, but sometimes it has real world effects, where people will take pity and donate equipment/cartridges and sometimes even money on the back of the lies these people tell. There is probably a PhD thesis in it for someone, but there is certainly something about participating in a community like this that can bring out the nasty, needy and nutty side of those with those character traits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistolgrip Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Social networking is used for bullying and both my daughters have suffered from this, I hate facebook, twitter and all the other "friendly" networking sites seen a few relationships destroyed from it as well, told my daughter that they should be banned!! she smiled and said "posted any comments on pigeon watch lately" smart **** kids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Undoubtedly. Not only are people far more aggressive and confrontational, but they can also be far more cruel and vindictive than they ever would be in a normal social setting. People often put it down to whether people would/wouldnt say things for fear of getting a thick ear, but I think it is more complicated, and comes down to the (incorrect) assumption of anonymity, the dehumanising effect of typing words into a computer and the fact that you cant see the real reaction of the other person. As such, you might think you are having a great time winding someone up or getting a 'bite' out of them, but they may actually be very deeply hurt or upset by what is posted. If we were talking to someone and they were visibly hurt/offended/tearful, everyone but a complete sociopath would back off, but because that human connection isnt there we can project the reaction we want to see onto the recipient - imagining them getting more and more comically red faced and angry, when what you actually may be doing is ruining someone's day for the sake of a quick bit of entertainment. Another interesting facet of forum communication is that it brings out the fantasists and attention whores in droves. Many a time we have seen people on here pretend to be something they arent or invent scenarios to ensure they are the centre of attention. It happens all the time on forums, but I can recall instances on here of people falsely claiming to have been in the special forces, or to be very ill, or to have been victims of made up crimes, or to just make up unlikely nonsense seemingly out of boredom or a need to feel loved or pitied. Again, it may all seem harmless enough in the context of the dehumanised "one account talking to another" scenario, but sometimes it has real world effects, where people will take pity and donate equipment/cartridges and sometimes even money on the back of the lies these people tell. There is probably a PhD thesis in it for someone, but there is certainly something about participating in a community like this that can bring out the nasty, needy and nutty side of those with those character traits. ANY setting where a group of like minds can egg one another on with little fear of recrimination AND zero chance of the other party(ies) having a voice to counter, will result in evil thoughts and words being exchanged - the interesting phenomenon is the groups complete lack of awareness of the irony of their behaviour compared to those they glibly spend their lives critiquing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kent Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 to be fair its in the nature of many to act the same on the phone, by letter or text. so I should say its the supposed anonymity and separation for an immediate knuckle sandwich which drives their actual aggression and insults. Many times I have been sworn at, threatened and insulted on the end of the phone in my past work in the most illogical way then met the person face to face to find actually they were very easy to deal with Then again how is it always possible to discuss a point with extreme manners and civility in so few typed words? Some questions posed on forums (all of them not just PW) the reply really should be " read a few books on the subject" or "take a course" - if you respond like that though I am sure most will see it as rude. Say something other than the OP actually wants to hear (even if its true) and it can also kick off Like said we are programed to react to facial expressions etc. lacking that feedback can have repercussions. Perhaps Humans will develop new skills with evolution and perhaps a longer thumb? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandalf Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Having recently seen the devastating effect of this sort of behaviour on my lovely granddaughter, I am appalled at the lengths some people will go to just to make someone else suffer. If everyone on a forum was made to use their correct names with contact details I think it would solve some of the problems. Grandalf (Ben Symonds). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ack-ack Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 I blame the Environment Agency. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistolgrip Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Having recently seen the devastating effect of this sort of behaviour on my lovely granddaughter, I am appalled at the lengths some people will go to just to make someone else suffer. If everyone on a forum was made to use their correct names with contact details I think it would solve some of the problems. Grandalf (Ben Symonds). The police now take this very seriously and about time, as for giving out your real name that can leave this forum open to abuse from the powers of evil bit like batman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslad Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 While i do think it does to some extent, an awful lot of arguments/debates/heated discussions are due to a post being taken out of context or slight misunderstandings. I done a bouncer course a few years ago and they said something like 70% of communication is non verbal or not wot u say but how u say it, its ur body language, tone etc. I'm sure i'm not the only 1 on here that will regularly tell mates to **** off (in some places/situations if appropiate) or even cal them the 'c' word in some circumstances but i would never dream of doing it online (even if i think it) as they can't see me wimking/smiling etc Lifes too short dunno wh folk would do it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nial Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Undoubtedly.Not only are people far more aggressive and confrontational, but they can also be far more cruel and vindictive than they ever would be in a normal social setting.People often put it down to whether people would/wouldnt say things for fear of getting a thick ear, but I think it is more complicated, and comes down to the (incorrect) assumption of anonymity, the dehumanising effect of typing words into a computer and the fact that you cant see the real reaction of the other person. There's also the fact that forums like this bring you into contact with people with vastly different opinions on different subjects, where in real life we are probably more used to socialising with more like minded people. Nial Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loriusgarrulus Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Forums are a great source of information on hobbies and interests. I think the majority of people on them are genuine and want to have a natter and pass on their experiences and skills. Like all big groups of people there are going to be every type some are naturally aggressive, some don,t realise their posts can be taken the wrong way. I have posted things, then realised it didn't,t sound how I intended, or thought someone was having a go when they probably didn't mean it that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 I must admit my OH reckons I'm a very confrontational type of person, not to the point where I grow aggressive and want to fight someone ( although I can't deny it has sometimes ended like this in the past ) but I think it's possibly borne from being bullied at school. I was at one time a fairly timid and shy child but from about the age of 12 or 13 I was bullied on a very regular basis in secondary school, from merely being punched or kicked in passing to being held underwater to the extent I was convinced I was about to die. I witnessed and experienced this bullying outside school also, from older kids and indeed figures of authority inside as well as outside school. However, I grew up to be a big lad and those still at school while I was doing the growing, grew to regret their actions. Looking back I think I may have possibly over-reacted in some instances, and for some time I had a very bad name for which I have grown sincerely sorry. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. However, I now have an unhealthy distrust of figures of authority, ( though believe this was mostly inherited from my Dad ) and will not tolerate bullying of any description, and find injustice and deliberate misrepresentation for the sake of an agenda despicable, and will and do confront either on a regular basis. It has got me in all manner of scrapes over the years I'm sorry to say, and my OH hates it. My kids don't like me 'having a word' with their teachers either but I just can't help myself. I simply find it impossible to sit back and do nothing in certain situations. I hope this goes some way to explain why some on here may find me obnoxious and belligerent, which is bad enough perhaps, but I would be mortified to think I came across as bullying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
four-wheel-drive Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 The problem is I think a lot of people just do not think before making comments about the real problem is they put something up without thinking what damage they could be doing and once it is there you cannot always take it down you may delete it but is it really gone has it been copied on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 (edited) Text base or written communication is very hard to apply a mood or feel. Mrs and i have been together 31 years, married 21 and even where sometimes question a text or mail. Emoticons help but people can still take a comment the wrong way. As always, it's striking a balance, but there are a number of people out there that take pleasure in inflicting maximum pain and misery (not on PW but in the wider world) HAd the known they would be found out, i doubt that they would have made the statement. Edited October 6, 2014 by keg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tallshort Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Sure there was a story about a former boxer being hassled by a keyboard warrior on twitter, the boxer in question got the guys address and popped round to see the said warrior and the bloke was not so brave face to face. Society today is very quick to vilify people who confront others in a face to face, phases such as road rage and trolley rage are coined a lot but the same people who condemn people for direct confrontation are usually the ones hiding behind their keyboards trying to be smug and clever but its the same in other parts of society if you go to a football game you will find two sets of fans chanting songs that are designed to insult the other set of fans. This is done with the knowledge that a line of stewards is there stopping anyone from coming to confront you so its not just confined to the internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Les*1066 Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Yes, I think that forums can bring out the worst in some people, but I have found the opposite to be much more common. I have come across many situations where total strangers have gone out of their way to help other people who they only "know" on a forum. I have done it myself, and others have gone out of their way for me, too, so I believe that there are waaaay more good folks around than bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
margun Posted October 6, 2014 Report Share Posted October 6, 2014 Social networking is used for bullying and both my daughters have suffered from this, I hate facebook, twitter and all the other "friendly" networking sites seen a few relationships destroyed from it as well, told my daughter that they should be banned!! she smiled and said "posted any comments on pigeon watch lately" smart **** kids Hehe I have the same conversations about social media with my missus. Except she calls it "pigeon gay", oh the maturity :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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