motty Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 What does that mean? If you are selfish and arrogant enough to put your hobby before your children and partner/wife then you are not morally fit to hold gun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehb102 Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 Amazing how so many people think that domination and control are the way to run a relationship. Given the new laws and extended definition of domestic violence you might want to reconsider, especially as domestic violence will get your certificate taken away. Respect to those of you who are considerate and communicate with a partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortune Posted January 12, 2016 Report Share Posted January 12, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortune Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 (edited) domination and control are the way to run a relationship. OP quote from post #1. as far as keeping a shotgun in the house she is having non of it. Domination and control. Isn't that what is happening to the guy? ( I dont know what happened to my previous post.) Edited January 13, 2016 by fortune Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sian Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 OP quote from post #1. as far as keeping a shotgun in the house she is having non of it. Domination and control. Isn't that what is happening to the guy? ( I dont know what happened to my previous post.) No it's not, it's fear and vulnerability not helped by being heavily pregnant. Give the woman a break. It's a dilemma that Mr G will work through slowly and the outcome will be fine. If he followed half the advice given on here whether said in jest (some of it) or said seriously which is far more depressing and worrying he'll end up much worse off because I really don't think he's looking to ditch his family of 8 years over where a gun is stored! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bostonmick Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 What does that mean? Really you don't know what moral's are maybe you should look it up in a dictionary and while there also look commitment and responsibilities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motty Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Really you don't know what moral's are maybe you should look it up in a dictionary and while there also look commitment and responsibilities. I was asking what 'morally fit to hold a gun' meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bostonmick Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 I was asking what 'morally fit to hold a gun' meant. Quite easy really you need to be a fit person to hold a firearm.If you have no sense of moral's Towards your family no sense of commitment or responsibility are you really a fit person to hold a gun.Any relationship is built on comprises and as the op has one for the time being with his parents house to follow some of the advice and dump the partner and his children shows a complete lack of any.reading some of these snips of advice it's nice to see that cavemen have at least learnt to type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shalfordninja33 Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 I keep my guns at my parents house, it's no big deal for me and wasn't a big deal when I asked the FEO. I just advised that my parents house is more secure and in a 'nicer' area, and that my place is rented and more urban. The FEO asked my parents (who were milling around when he visited and checked my cabinet) and they said they were fine with it and that they would have no idea where the keys are etc... And we are all good. That's Essex police by the way. I might move my cabinet to mine some point but I'm in no rush. It certainly wasn't anything to do with my wife as she's very supportive of my shooting hobby. I did a very similar thing when I first moved out from my parents. I lived in a house share with some friends and explained that I was happier leaving them at my parents for the same reasons you did. I then bought my own 2 bedroom flat which was a new build, dry lined, communal stairwells etc and didn't want them there, I was out a work all day no one there etc, whereas my mum is at home most of the time. I then met my now wife and 2 years later we bought the house we live in now, when we moved my guns came from home with me. Essex Police were helpful throughout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest stevo Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Why dont you just sit her down with a cuppa . Give her the laptop . And let her read this thread that should sort it out . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendrix's rifle Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Why dont you just sit her down with a cuppa . Give her the laptop . And let her read this thread that should sort it out . I'd pay to see the look on her face :L he would be sleeping out side from then on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehb102 Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 OP quote from post #1. as far as keeping a shotgun in the house she is having non of it. Domination and control. Isn't that what is happening to the guy? ( I dont know what happened to my previous post.) Oh, please. One partner saying they don't want something is hardly the same as a full pattern of coercive control. OP, Sian is right. Talk to your partner, respect her view (however misinformed it is) and say you would like to get the certificate. Two women a week are killed by their partners, and pregnancy is a trigger for domestic violence. I'd be worried in her position, she's incredibly vulnerable. I'd say that to "be a man" you'll take care of your family first including their emotional needs and delay getting everything you want for a hobby. Next year you can talk to her about how it's important to you and how you want to share it with your children and how girls who shoot are confident people and it's a sport they can use for GCSE and so on. You are both adults and more respect to you for not being a child and yelling "She wouldn't leeeeet me! She's so MEEEEEAN!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotguneddy Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Grow a pair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toontastic Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Lying in hospital fighting for my life and coughing up blood it was my girlfriend who was at my bedside everyday not my shotgun, would i give up shooting for her. Most definitely, so does this make me less of a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nighteye Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Ok here goes the long version , (bear with me). I first met my wife 16 years ago and she was against guns , I eventually managed to get her out with an air rifle and she was kind of ok but it's nothing special . This level of attitude continued and she was definitely against me storing guns in the house . Roll on a few years and I joined a firearms club , (by this time we have two children) after dragging her up numerous times I get her to have a shot with a .22 rimmy , eureka all it took was somebody else to say "you could be better than him" also I got involved with a "have a try airgun range " and a few visits to airgun clubs with the kids , if the kids love it so does mummy. After seeing me teach a lot of kids to shoot at a country fair and watching me take a child with no experience and showing them how to hit reactive targets and the associated enthusiasm , the anti-gun view started to thaw . It did take time but step by step I showed the wife how to shoot , the different types of firearms and how they need to be stored . After seeing me take out half a bedroom wall to fit three cabinets and how I was very very strict about gun safety and handling when teaching our own children she caved . She realised that whether or not she wanted guns in the house I DID . It was my hobby , our children loved it and knew not to tell anybody that dad has guns . I am now in possession of 6 firearms with space on my ticket for another 3 sect 1 and space for two more shotguns , one of which I have been informed needs "to fit me (wife)" , it's not an easy journey . Do not give up , take the first step and get the SGC , get a gun at your parents BUT when you get up to go make a hell of a racket "because you have to leave really early to pick up your gun" . After a while she will soften , maybe not right away but eventually. One day you will read a post similar to yours and think "know that feeling, try this it worked for me " Don't know how old your kids are but if the kids like something usually mummy does too , even just to see their faces light up with excitement. ATB Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortune Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 There are a lot of random issues going on here. This is about the same as me saying I don't mind the wife driving but she cant keep her car at home and will have to lodge it at a garage somewhere and get the bus to go and get it and lug all the shopping onto the bus when she has put it back in store at the local garage. Cars are very dangerous and kill people every day and that there is a serious possibility that the children who are under 8 might get access to it and go off joy riding.OK she is pregnant with the issues that are involved but she was a way into it when this started. Did she not say anything about it then or did she not know about it? When this cert was applied for was there any concern then?The wife and I had a family and this problem didn't occur and in those days the guns were just up in a cupboard ( before gun cabinets) Along with the cartridges. In our house guns, dogs and shooting stuff are normal and it isn’t the hardware that hack the wife off, it is me, getting the stuff ready to go off shooting and the dog racing about like a crazed loon.If the existing children are only young they aren’t going to get up in the attic and gain access to the stuff anyway.I've been waiting 7 months for my renewals and not a peep from them so by the time that you get anywhere near a cert the child will have been born so the situation may well be different.If this problem goes on into the future then there is a deeper more serious problem that will have to be dealt with. The OP said that his dad cant understand the problem, perhaps his mum or other female can speak with the partner and try to get a handle on this so that any issues can be addressed.On the other hand are there deeper unseen issues. People are strange. Here are the raw statistics.http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/vsob1/divorces-in-england-and-wales/2011/sty-what-percentage-of-marriages-end-in-divorce.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breastman Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 How much time do you spend shooting? Could the no gun in the house be more about time management? 6 pages in before the answer surfaces IMO. If you already had 2 kids and another on the way, would you be happy for your partner to take up a new hobby that could potentially have them away from the house several days a week for hours at a time?? I don't know what kind of dad the OP is but if i was in that position and the missus turned around and said "Oh by the way i'm wanting to take up XYZ, have fun with those kids!" i'd not be a happy bunny! After speaking to the firearms dept. today and quizzing them about whether I can keep the cabinet at my folks (who are happy happy with this arrangement) while it's me with the SGC, the lady seemed pretty convinced it's not possible. She was also quite surprised that other forces allow it. However, she also didn't sound sure that she was right and so basically said go over it it with the FEO when he/she visits. As already mentioned, the person you spoke to is wrong. There is no legislation, or even guidance that i'm aware of that prohibits remote storage, whether that be at a club, RFD, parents or friends house. Why dont you just sit her down with a cuppa . Give her the laptop . And let her read this thread that should sort it out . Considering some of the responses the 'big lads' have given she might count herself lucky its just a gun the OP is wanting to bring in the house! My own two penneth worth would be to take your dad up on his offer and take it from there. After that next stage would be to get a cabinet fitted at your house for the occasional times you can't get back to your dads at a reasonable hour, he's away on holiday etc etc and gradually work up from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motty Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Quite easy really you need to be a fit person to hold a firearm.If you have no sense of moral's Towards your family no sense of commitment or responsibility are you really a fit person to hold a gun.Any relationship is built on comprises and as the op has one for the time being with his parents house to follow some of the advice and dump the partner and his children shows a complete lack of any.reading some of these snips of advice it's nice to see that cavemen have at least learnt to type. One day, Mick, you may learn grammar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bostonmick Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 One day, Mick, you may learn grammar. Do think so.It won't pay the bills will it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskyRich Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Do think so.It won't pay the bills will it It does if you are a proof reader Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theosmith Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Id go with the new partner idea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WelshMike Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 All I can say is that I pity the OPs position with this one. I love shooting and love my wife so wouldnt like to have to make a choice between the 2...but if I did I would ditch the guns. It makes me laugh to see some of the comments about "manning up" etc..either you boys are in a **** relationship or mouthing off...or more then likely ...single. Good luck is all I can say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gemini52 Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 I keep my guns at my parents house, it's no big deal for me and wasn't a big deal when I asked the FEO. I just advised that my parents house is more secure and in a 'nicer' area, and that my place is rented and more urban. The FEO asked my parents (who were milling around when he visited and checked my cabinet) and they said they were fine with it and that they would have no idea where the keys are etc... And we are all good. That's Essex police by the way. I might move my cabinet to mine some point but I'm in no rush. It certainly wasn't anything to do with my wife as she's very supportive of my shooting hobby. I know mr g,i have let him shoot with me on a few occasions,we have merseyside firearms dept to deal with and to be honest they dont give any leeway whatsoever,in my humble opinion i cant see them allowing a non certificate holder having a locked cabinet containing guns in there property,i would like to be proved wrong but lets wait and see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskyRich Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 Dont see why not. I lived away from home for about 4 years and it wasn't an issue. Moved from Norfolk to north wales to go to uni.The little flat I was renting had **** walls and tbh I didn't really have time for shooting anyways so left my guns at home/parents.Since I essentially was living in wales I had to get my SGC transferred to them but told them of the sitaution and it was all fine. I was registered with the welsh force at my little flats address but my safe/gun address was my parents.My parents aren't cert holders either.Did the same for two years with the cambridgeshire force. they were fine with it.Got a mate in cambridgeshire to hold one of my guns for me whilst I was there and the rest just stayed at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyjack Posted January 13, 2016 Report Share Posted January 13, 2016 The FEO will still almost certainly want to speak to her when the visit happens (they do these days, and entirely correctly in my opinion), and will ask her how she feels about guns in the house. feo didnt want to speak to my partner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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