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Pheasant's Revenge!


Danger-Mouse
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Many moons ago my (long gone) dad was driving the hand-built prototype of the Vauxhall ('trans-continental") FE victor back from MIRA (near Coventry) to Vauxhall Luton and decided to take the "scenic route" around Woburn Abbey, through the villages, stop at home for a cup of tea, and then back to the factory in Kimpton Road, Luton.

 

Out struts Mr Cock Pheasant and.....splat. One, not well, pheasant.

 

Dad thinks. What a waste. Picks it up, puts behind drivers seat and proceeds on his way.

 

10 minutes later, said cock pheasant (only stunned) thinks double U, Tee, eff is going on here and does a whirling dervish dance around the light linen coloured interior of the FE Vauxhall Victor whilst jugular vein now seems to have ruptured. Sadly (according to dad), the pheasant then expired.

 

End result? The then (1970 ish?) £250,000+ cost of hand built car interior looks like a crime scene.

 

Many hours later my mum has managed to clean the car interior as best possible and now, (after dark) dad returns the car to Kimpton road ready for the following days' press photo shoot.

 

For this occasion, Vauxhall had built a false wall in the experimental department, on which they had stuck photo's of palm trees for the (then ok , but now totally non-pc) bikini clad dolly birds to display themselves around the car for the press release photos.

 

During the night, between the original wall and the false wall, a pipe burst which filled the cavity with water which then collapsed on to the prototype which had to be completely rebuilt. Nobody ever mentioned the stained head lining & interior.

 

The car as a prototype did not fare well. As a released model, it did no better.

 

Motto? Wring it's ******* neck before you put it in the car!

Edited by Eyefor
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Years ago En Route to Grantown on Spey, at speed on Pitlochry bypass a hen pheasant parked itself in the radiator grill of the wifes new fiat uno,when years later the car was scrapped, the shape of birds head & bodywas still visible in radiator matrix, it never leaked or ran hot

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I was heading home from ferreting threw a estate and a hen pheasant took off at the passengers side of the car took the wing mirror clean off , i was lucky it landed in the verge a simple job of popping it back in , i thought at least i will have got a pheasant looked up and down that ditch and never found it .

No saying the car or myself where unlucky a week i shot threw the drivers wing mirror with a air gun while lamping rabbits at my work after calling myself allsorts a week later i did the same thing and it had two holes punched clean threw it after a trip to a scrap yard for a replacement ive never gone for the treble

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Some years ago on the back of a fairly fast zx12 ,on the way to Bala in North Wales we happened upon a couple of wayward pheasants in the road,.Having pulled up as we only saw one in the rear view mirror, we discovered a very lively female bird trying to hitch a ride wrapped around the air intake..We pulled said bird out and it shot off through the hedge dragging its wing. ... Footnote for team tractor ,i would think that Mr Fox had an easy supper that night.

from Auntie.

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A mate was riding his Ducati...at speed..in the back lanes of West Sussex when a Cock Pheasant shot out of the hedge row and hit him full in the face. Fortunately a full face lid with the visor down, but he clipped the verge, lost control and ended up face down in a dry ditch with the Duke lying across his legs. A bit groggy, he then felt his left calf muscle on fire but couldn't get his leg from under the bike. With the exhaust downpipe burning through his leathers, screaming and in terrible pain, he blacked out. Passing cars couldn't see him down in the ditch and it was only later when a bloke in a lorry happened to look down into the ditch that he was spotted and rescued. Nine months plastic surgery to rebuild a leg muscle and he still limps noticeably. He hates Pheasants.

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