Mitchiet123 Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 Hi all, Just wondering if anyone has experience of going to the doctors for depression or other conditions? My baby passed away a month ago and I'm finding it hard to cope. Haven't spoken to anyone about it or really left the house. Worried about going to the doctors in case they think I'm unfit to have guns and tell the police, and then they revoke my SGC or something (even though they're stored with an RFD at the moment- purely because I haven't yet convinced the missus to put a safe in the house) It's not like I'm going on meds or anything- wouldn't dare touch them. Just need to talk to somebody. Anyway, if anyone has gone through something similar RE doctors then I'd appreciate the advice. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyeruk Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 cant really comment on the sgc problem but can feel your pain. Some years ago i lost my daughter,age 3 in a house fire. Dont know how i got through it. Really sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GADWALL41 Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 Hello, I am sorry for your loss. The main thing for you right now is to focus on getting well again . If you feel you need to talk to somebody then do so . I am sure you can find a private Counselling service near where you live . If you need to see a GP then that's not the end of the world and don't be afraid of Meds , if needed they are a crutch , just control them not the other way around . Perhaps you could sign up to a GP outside of your area ?. Please don't take this the wrong way but you need to get out of the house , take some Air , go for a swim etc . Not my place to say but , others in your household need you now to and need you to get better . Don't bottle it up , Talk . Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason_ox Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, I’m a recent new father and it’s my worst fear. All I can advise on is don’t suffer in silence if you need to talk to someone please do, bottling something like this Isn’t good for you especially as you know you’re not coping very well. A drs appointment is the way to go, they can give you advice and refer you to bereavement counselling etc. You can refuse the meds but you may be better for them. Have a talk to your FEO, I wouldn’t be afraid they’re human and it’s better to be truthful than to hide something as I should think it may impact future renewals etc. Hope you start feeling better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 You have my sympathy; I have been through this. You should have been offered counselling. See your GP. There is a world of difference between feeling loss and depression. It will not affect your tickets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepasty Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 So sorry for your loss, we lost a baby 5 years ago. As for you, go and talk to someone, dont be afraid of your GP and or FEO learning of your current situation/state of mind they can help. I'll be open here, many years ago I suffered a breakdown after my brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and since then I've struggled with health anxiety. I've been on a low dose of meds for years and when I wanted to apply for my first FAC I spoke to my GP to see whether it would be a barrier to me getting my FAC, she explained that aslong as theres no risk to myself or others being on meds isnt a problem, its what you're taking them for that matters. My FEO was brilliant too saying that she believes getting out in the fresh air with your guns, meeting people etc is a great way to help people move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aled Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 Sorry to hear of your loss. I'm not going to pretend I can help, but there appears to be good advice on here. Once again PW shares experience to offer any advice and support they can. Well done all. Good luck Mitchiet123, wishing you the best I can. Aled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitchiet123 Posted December 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 Thanks for your help and well wishes guys. Very much appreciated as I can understand how hard it must be to share your own experiences and have those memories brought to the surface. Thanks again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harnser Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 My heart goes out to you sir a very sad loss . Go and see your doctor . harnser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lloyd90 Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 See your Doctor and ask for Counselling. You might want to phone your FEO and explain the situation and say "I am not depressed, although I am seeking counselling to help me come to terms with this." Very responsible action to take. I wish you the best of luck mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Me matt Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 Awful thing you are going though, wishing you and your Mrs all the best for the future, from experience I will say although you never forget- things will get easier. If you feel like you need any form of help - go and get it would be my advice. If you just want to talk there are some anonymous helplines you can call, it will help just getting things off your chest trust me. Be strong. MM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manthing Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 Sorry for your loss. If you just need to talk to someone try the Samaritans. If after that you think you still need to see your Dr then do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamch Posted December 5, 2017 Report Share Posted December 5, 2017 Lost my fiance in a crash years ago. Saw docs, on some medication but no probs on renewals since Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westward Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 I can only imagine your pain and loss but i would advise against seeing your doc about it. A surprisingly high percentage of GPs are not fully trained to differentiate between a situation such as your grieving process which will take time and support to come to terms with and real clinical depression which is usually incurable. Bereavement counselling is available without going via the doc and that will remove any risk of the "D" word which could cause you to lose your guns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 32 minutes ago, Westward said: I can only imagine your pain and loss but i would advise against seeing your doc about it. A surprisingly high percentage of GPs are not fully trained to differentiate between a situation such as your grieving process which will take time and support to come to terms with and real clinical depression which is usually incurable. Bereavement counselling is available without going via the doc and that will remove any risk of the "D" word which could cause you to lose your guns. That’s a fair comment. I was asked at the time by my GP if we wanted counselling, but we turned it down. I sometimes think my ex would have benefitted from it. My FEO and my licensing department are totally unaware of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
activeviii Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 I hear and understand what your going through in the extra worry of losing your shotgun. im trying not to come across as and a@se on this. my apologise if its sounds a little off. the problem we have with the licensing is the example you have just given, to many people go un-diagnosed because they are worried about their guns and license being removed so don't report it. they they are battling the gremlin's by themselves rather than put guns in storage for short term and then you can concentrate on yourself and others around you that also need support. your guns are not really the end of the world here, your family come first really. but, because you have put them in storage, you have shown to the police that you have been responsible and done the right thing, in doing that and then going see you doctor and let them help you and then a call to your licensing team, you will have one less thing to worry about. then when your back in a good place and ok with the world, you talk to the doctor and then the FEO. all will be fine. meds can be very beneficial by the way, helped me out a few times in the past. i have always been straight with me licencing team and they are straight with me. they say it shows responsibility. please, take one stress out of your life, storage the guns and get a little help, there is nothing wrong with admitting your on a low. the only wrong is trying to hold on and dont get the help what happens is people get depression, tell themselves, and others that they are fine as they are worried about loosing their license and guns. then it can, and sometimes does go wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jam1e Posted December 6, 2017 Report Share Posted December 6, 2017 I can't say i know what you're going through as I've not been in such an terrible situation. But a close family member died not to long ago. Don't try and climb that mountain in one go. Just a little at a time. Your guns are at an RFD's so the Police shouldn't have any immediate worries. In theory... Please seek out bereavement counselling as a start.... And go from there. There is bound to be free bereavement counselling service in your area. It count's for nothing, but i'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think i would have the strength to carry on like you have. So with help you should get to a point where you can at least function from day to day. Then go from there.... Asking for help is a good start.... You just need to ask the right people. I don't know where you are but do a search for bereavement counselling. I wish you all the luck in the world in coming to terms with your loss. ATB Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 The word depression is used far too much, and the grieving process is a world away from depression, which can be a debilitating illness. Being self employed I worked my way through it as I had two other very small children and a mortgage to consider. It effects people differently; my ex just sank into a world of doom and gloom and wouldn’t even answer the door. I’m not suggesting the stiff upper lip, but don’t hide yourself away from everyday life. You’ll have good days and bad days, but look after each other and you’ll get there. If you feel the need for professional help then seek it; it won’t effect your tickets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westward Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 33 minutes ago, Scully said: The word depression is used far too much, and the grieving process is a world away from depression, which can be a debilitating illness. Absolutely right. My late father in law, my late brother in law (suicide) and my middle son are/were all clinical depressives. I assume it's a rogue gene in my wife's family. My wife isn't a depressive but at times she can have an incredibly negative outlook. Apart from my father in law, all of them could/can be extremely good company, often very witty and full of laughter. Our son has a mortgage, a partner and a young son and everyone in the family is aware of his depression and able to recognise and deal with his dark periods - which was not the case with my brother in law. No one spotted his depression and his persona as the joker and fun guy probably stopped him from being able to deal with it. So yes, I have 1st hand experience of depression and it's wholly different from grief or sorrow or emotional pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team tractor Posted December 7, 2017 Report Share Posted December 7, 2017 (edited) I went through a bad batch of things and they caught up to the point of me crying into my dinner every night. My mum booked me in to see my doctor behind my back. They put me on anti depressants and I felt awful/sick for a week but then felt great. They changed my world and then I met my mrs and I was weined off them 6 months later . I told my Feo and the police interviewed me but were happy for me to hold my sgc at the time. ( now Fac and sgc) I was no danger to myself or others. Over a 13 year period I’d lost my sister(19) my mate shot him self i lost 3 grandparents 2 more mates their is more stuff like my ex walking out and taking my kids that finished me off in the end. My doc was excellent for me. Reading the the other comments I think I’ve had it easy. Edited December 7, 2017 by team tractor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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