ack-ack Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 The work place just isn't the same without them. On site they are fairly basic and usually lack imagination but they make me laugh none the less (its not difficult) . We have a Portugese surveyor who for no reason whatsoever is called the Madeira Molester, a concrete technician called shooter as he always shoots off early and another chap called the Jockney as he's a scottish Millwall supporter. Got any good ones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zapp Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 Scottish Staff Sergeant instructor when I was in the Army who loved making up stories about how great she was: Jockanory Lad (also in the Army) who had a cleft palate as a kid but had it fixed: Lego (because thats what it looked like his face was made from). Yet another Army lad who loved nothing more than telling you how great he was at everything: Zippy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bakerboy Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 My mate from infant school, 59 years ago and still my mate now, "Cake", he was always getting his leg over and we all thought he was fruity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WelshLamb Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 I also know a Zippy, because he just loves to talk! Loads of them from school... Bunny, because of his teeth. Sweed... I have no idea why everyone called him Sweed, but it just stuck! I have a mate who EVERYONE calls Taylor, even though his surname is Purnell I'm normally referred to as 'Taff' or 'Welsh' Possibly the most unimaginative names ever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 Mate at school had a big nose so we called him Concorde , a guy I know from shooting circles has the surname Bell so everyone calls him Dinger . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannon Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 I know of a black bus driver who crashed a double decker into a bridge. He was then known as Black & Decker lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TGEvans Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 Horrible librarian in school, Conan the Librarian. John **** as he always swore, ******* Trevor for the same reason. Billy Two Stroke, he had a stutter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncan Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 we had one bloke that worked with us who had a cleft palate ,he was called "the german (herr lip) or arfur kiss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dan-250 Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 I just call my mate willis, another mate is Nobby, another, trophy due to his large tabs, or fa cup. Ginger pubes, for the obvious reason. Pin d1ck, we was told so. Bonehead don't know how we got that. I was called farmzy as everyone thought I was a farmer. Inbred, as he was from Boston. Bepe the pimp, as he doesn't have standards and will take anything with a pulse. That's about all of us I think Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cleaner4hire Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 Ive come across alot in my time.. its a military thing!! 2 stroke taylor as he wasnt very effective with the ladies Gadge, as he once wore an RAF trenchcoat and looked like inspector gadget big gay bear, 18 stone prop who didnt drink!! DHL (as in the courier service) - a girl who wanted it any time anywhere Flange, a girl who was called ange Jon the gay, for obvious reasons woody, a bloke with a massive apendage delta sierra for a girl who looked a bit special i could go on for ages!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raja Clavata Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 The Towie (apparently) twins go to my gym, I refer to them as the Arnold Smurfeneiger twins. It seems to be catching on... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deershooter Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 We used to go to Beckengham Ranges with our shooting club where we called the range officer "******* Dave" as he started every conversation with the f word I myself am now known as "Stumpy" :lol: after loosing both legs Deershooter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canthitathing Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) Knew a bloke who everyone called Caber. It was because his Dad was from Poland but his mum was from Scotland, which made him a Scottish Pole....... Edited February 10, 2012 by canthitathing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricko Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 My friends/acquaintances have prefixes/suffixes: Hotrod Johnny - drift cars ********* Bob - 3 tours in NI, and used to be a real horrible****** Chainsaw Charlie - bad accident with chainsaw nearly lost his arm Harry the Fish - legendary trucker, who had a small clinker built fishing boat Tattoo Bob - tattoo artist from a small Northern town Parsnip Andy - brother in law FAT Frank - his initials are F.A.T. and he is skinny ish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asa Bear Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 My mate has the nickname "Claude". He's got a heart of gold but **** for brains. Shortened to "**** for" which my missus mistook for Schiffer as in Claudia ergo "Claude" Worked with a woman we called epod. Took her years to work out It was back to front. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloke Posted February 9, 2012 Report Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) Nick?? (I'll get my coat.........) When I worked in the sobstance misuse field, my mate and i were called "Scrote" and "Fat Bloke" (hence 'bloke') - a bit of a laugh and put the patients at ease. Trouble is, we got a new boss, as much sense of humour as a doberman with piles, demande it stop immediately, said we should be addressed respectfully - Berk!! Edited February 10, 2012 by Bloke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twitchynik Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 The Missinglink - Someone I used to work with who looked half monkey half man Porker - A big lad called Paul whose surname started with a C (Paul C-Porker) ******* Chops - (sounds like rollock) My old boss after he called someone that Muppet - A less than attractive girl in the office who looked like a muppet when she spoke, jaw was ******* everywhere Sarnie - A lad on my estate when I was at school. Still to this day no-one knows why, he's not even fat Lurch - A knuckle dragging director at a previous job The Dark Lord - An ops bloke I worked with from years back who really did look like Dracula Chopper - My sister-in-law, no idea where from The Scrinchler - Grandparents neighbour Scratcher - Another one for him, always scratching around the ladies The Bag - Affectionate nickname for his wife. She has a colostomy bag Dog Balls - Brothers German friend. At 23ish he lost all his hair due to alopecia and his ballbag looks just like a dogs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heilan Coo Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 (edited) Heilan Coo or just Coo - myself, because of my hair. Wing nut - mate with big ears that stuck out. Lugs - another mate with big ears Pig - mate got the name after doing some unprintable things. Horse - a mate who was built like a clydesdale. Snake - mate who wasn't lacking in the trouser department. Gudge - given to a mate but no-one remembers why. Puddock - guy looked like a big fat frog. (scottish name for a frog) Sid - made up with mates initials Barnoff - another mate, can't remember how he got it Stench - workmate who whiffs a bit. Stinger - same workmate who wore a black and yellow striped jumper on night out thus resembling a bee. Jurassic Spark - elderly electrician workmate. The Moth - mate used to leave pub at closing time then wander around the village looking for a light on in the hope of finding a party. Bonzo - older mate, no idea how he got it. A few more that I don't know the reason but call them by nothing else - Stovies, Floyd, Sparks, Ingins, Skull, Sarge, Bazzie, Ched. Edited February 10, 2012 by Heilan Coo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amateur Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 Many years ago, one of the firm's partners, due a new company car, had been delivered a 323i instead of a 328i (the leasing company's error). After he had thrown a strop, particularly because the BMW that he had ordered was on a 6 month delivery, the leasing company gave him a freeby XR3i rag-top. He was known thereafter as "Boy-racer" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
margun Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 At work we have a massive fat chap we call 'two blokes'. Someone said we couldn't call him that so now he's 'three blokes'. A mate of mine has a huge head and very long arms so he's 'the gibbon'. We also have a large mate we call moobs, moobletron or 'the mooble-ator', and a farm worker from Yorkshire called 'lerder' (because of the way he says 'loader'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 The Towie (apparently) twins go to my gym, I refer to them as the Arnold Smurfeneiger twins. It seems to be catching on... That would be the David Lloyd centre then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocker3 Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 we used to have a bloke in our work we called THRUSH because he was an irritating **** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry d Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 Loads from the services....... Nosmo as his surname was King Dog for the guy who`s parents gave him the initials I.D. to the surname Tagg. and from the fire service a lad nicknamed Rigger as he didn`t do much...........Rigor Mortis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hedd-wyn Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 There was a lady in our street nick named 'Nancy Population' because she had 12 kids. There was also a 'Mr Philadelphia' in Chapel Street because they said she 'spread' well on weekends. ... there are also some nicknames that I would never dare mention on a public forum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lxtav Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 Ive heard sargent signal being used. The tube with stripes. Knew an inspector called RALF for really annoying little ******. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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