ditchman Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 Went down to the ironmongers yesterday to get some grass seed to finish off one of the beds ive taken out...and due to the referendum result felt in a mischievous mood............. they have 4 different types of grass seed there............soooo there i was standing over the bins humming and harring about which one i should have...at the front of the shop were 4 or 5 customers chewing the fat with the owner....any way this young girl come up to me and chirped up ...dont you know which one you want.....i looked at her and said "i was looking for the special country mix" ................"whats that " she says.. "the mix that has daisys...moss...dangylion...and grass and thistle in it"................."huh...cant please some people...i will ask at the front desk if we have any in"........................... so off she goes to the front desk.......then i hear a collective ROAR of laughter....she stomps back with a red face and promptly clips me round the back of the head for being silly.............another ROAR of laughter its never dull here............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 Good girl! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenboy Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 Went down to the ironmongers yesterday to get some grass seed to finish off one of the beds ive taken out...and due to the referendum result felt in a mischievous mood............. they have 4 different types of grass seed there............soooo there i was standing over the bins humming and harring about which one i should have...at the front of the shop were 4 or 5 customers chewing the fat with the owner....any way this young girl come up to me and chirped up ...dont you know which one you want.....i looked at her and said "i was looking for the special country mix" ................"whats that " she says.. "the mix that has daisys...moss...dangylion...and grass and thistle in it"................."huh...cant please some people...i will ask at the front desk if we have any in"........................... so off she goes to the front desk.......then i hear a collective ROAR of laughter....she stomps back with a red face and promptly clips me round the back of the head for being silly.............another ROAR of laughter its never dull here............. Thanks Ditchman , I always wondered what type of grass I have ----now I know as it is exactly as the country mix you describe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 I remember being sent to the local ironmongers for a long stand as a naive, trusting young lad. It must have been busy as I recall, as I was in there quite a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted June 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 I remember being sent to the local ironmongers for a long stand as a naive, trusting young lad. It must have been busy as I recall, as I was in there quite a while. me too................sent to the stores for.. packet of blue sparks for the grinder sky hook all part of the learning curve............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
subsonicnat Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 My wife when a lot younger and at home,,who was busy putting a Drip porch cover over theback door,asked her to get him some COFFIN NAILS,,When she asked how long he indicated about the same length as a cigarette.. She duly went to the ironmongers and bought some 3"Nails???. Her Mother just laughed her head off and told him it serves you right.. The thing was, He was nailing the frame together when he asked her.. She had never heard the expression, Coffin Nails.lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun4860 Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 me too................sent to the stores for.. packet of blue sparks for the grinder sky hook all part of the learning curve............. The Sparks had to be in a brown paper bag or they would burn through.....been there but I knew I was being set up, I was away for over an hour (garage across the road), when asked why I had been so long I replied the Sparks kept going out And the long stand Never fell for the sky hooks though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobba Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 When I left school I worked as a stock control clerk for Joseph Lucas. These japes were common place and harmless fun. I was sent to check the stock level of short circuits! A note was left on my desk with a telephone No to ring Mr G Raffe - it was Bristol a Zoo. And a mate in an ironmongers was asked for a tin if red and white paint to paint a barbers pole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted June 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 The Sparks had to be in a brown paper bag or they would burn through.....been there but I knew I was being set up, I was away for over an hour (garage across the road), when asked why I had been so long I replied the Sparks kept going out And the long stand Never fell for the sky hooks though the usual scam was....you were sent to get a bucket of blue sparks for the grinder....the storeman asked you for the bucket and went in the back for a fag for 10 mins...came back and said there were no blue sparks left there were only orange ones.....so you went back told the fitter and off you would go back to the storeman and ask for orange ones....the storeman would go in the back and come out again saying he had orange ones but they were old stock and had a few yellow ones mixed in...you better go back and ask........................mind numbing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_b_wales Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 Many years ago, I went into a local Sports Shop to buy some 12g cartridges. There were two young'ish girls sitting behind the glass counter, and I asked for a box. As one of them handed me a box, I asked her were they for a 'right barrel or left barrel'? She asked what I meant, so I said that I have a side by side shotgun and needed to know which cartridges were which. I told her that they should be marked 'L & R'. She opened one box to check, and, surprise, there was no 'L&R' on them. I suggested that they may be faulty stock and that she try a few more boxes, which she did! In the end, I just started laughing and told her the truth. At first, she didn't find it funny, but then laughed as well, as did another customer in the shop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hodge911 Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 we got the "young un " when the local factors and paint suppliers used to ring round every morning asking if there was any thing we needed on the first van of the day so he was told to ask for a ltr of green tartan paint ............the guy at the other end must of twigged on and sent him back to ask if we wanted the one with the red stripe . I still don't think the thicko got it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted June 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 Many years ago, I went into a local Sports Shop to buy some 12g cartridges. There were two young'ish girls sitting behind the glass counter, and I asked for a box. As one of them handed me a box, I asked her were they for a 'right barrel or left barrel'? She asked what I meant, so I said that I have a side by side shotgun and needed to know which cartridges were which. I told her that they should be marked 'L & R'. She opened one box to check, and, surprise, there was no 'L&R' on them. I suggested that they may be faulty stock and that she try a few more boxes, which she did! In the end, I just started laughing and told her the truth. At first, she didn't find it funny, but then laughed as well, as did another customer in the shop. you wicked swine... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Heron Posted June 26, 2016 Report Share Posted June 26, 2016 When this country went over to the metric system we sent the not to bright apprentice to the ironmongers for some metric bubbles to replace the English ones in the spirit levels, to his credit the ironmonger kept him there for over two hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElvisThePelvis Posted June 26, 2016 Report Share Posted June 26, 2016 When I left school I worked as a stock control clerk for Joseph Lucas. These japes were common place and harmless fun. I was sent to check the stock level of short circuits! A note was left on my desk with a telephone No to ring Mr G Raffe - it was Bristol a Zoo. And a mate in an ironmongers was asked for a tin if red and white paint to paint a barbers pole. I once got a colleague to reply to a message to call Liz Windsor, the number was Buckingham palace gift shop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted June 26, 2016 Report Share Posted June 26, 2016 As a YTS trainee, i got hit with the "long stand" and the "short stay" Still laugh about it even now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Mule Posted June 26, 2016 Report Share Posted June 26, 2016 We sent out one young thicket to the butcher's for some chickens teeth. He came back with "Pork chops of sole" There were some very confused faces that day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave-G Posted June 27, 2016 Report Share Posted June 27, 2016 I spent ages waiting for a 'long weight' in my first job lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Bb Posted June 27, 2016 Report Share Posted June 27, 2016 I got sent to the engine room for a bucket of steam. Also green oil for the starboard navigation light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Holliday Posted June 27, 2016 Report Share Posted June 27, 2016 Tartan paint is always a classic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamesey1981 Posted June 27, 2016 Report Share Posted June 27, 2016 (edited) When I used to work in a theatre we used to like the long wait, we'd send new starters up to the fly floor (they have many different kinds of weights up there so it sounds plausible if you're not paying attention). If they wouldn't fall for that one then we'd do a reverse sky hook, (Sky hooks actually exist now, at least in name only, they're used on climbing harnesses and we used them a lot while working on lighting without bringing it in to stage level) so we'd get them to kick off that they're not going to go and get us a sky hook, then we'd get someone else to pass us one and embarrass them that way. Edited June 27, 2016 by Jamesey1981 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Bb Posted June 27, 2016 Report Share Posted June 27, 2016 My father briefly worked at an accountants back in the days of "real" pens. New boys were sent to the stationers for a box of "left handed ticking nibs". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besty57 Posted June 27, 2016 Report Share Posted June 27, 2016 Skirting board ladder. Glass nails Bag of holes To name but a few Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big bad lindz Posted June 27, 2016 Report Share Posted June 27, 2016 One I remember is being sent to the stores for a left handed screw driver as my journey man had injured his right hand playing rugby and I was told he could still do the job with his left but needed the correct tool for the job . duh! that was a long time ago I am surprised that I can remember that far back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HH1 Posted June 27, 2016 Report Share Posted June 27, 2016 I was in the gun shop of a clay shooting ground on Saturday with my Dad who was talking to the sales assistant and telling her about his shotgun.... she asked "is that an over & under or a side by side?" Dad told her it was an semi-auto and she just looked at him totally confused. Thing is there was a fair number of 3-shot semi-autos in the gun racks, so she should have known. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobbyathome Posted June 27, 2016 Report Share Posted June 27, 2016 when I was 15 I got a job in a butchers shop in bromleyand was told to go over to the butcher in the co op and ask for a pair of brine gloves I asked why do we need brine gloves and they said because if you put your hands in the brine they get cold so being new off I trotted needless to say when I got there he said he had lent them to another butcher in Bromley so again off I went when I got to the other shop they said the same dohhhh I twigged and then promptly went to the motorbike shop near it and drolled over an fsie moped I must have spent an hour looking at all the bikes when I got back they all laughed and took the pisss I never told them I went to the bike shop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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