Doc Holliday Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 As per the title, I've been asked by a friend if I know of a military school where she can send her son. He's got in a bit of trouble and she wants him to have some discipline. Thanks in advance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_b_wales Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 This is where bringing back National Service would be good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob85 Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 They should have an arrangement with the nearest High security prisons where you can have your kids put in for a day in close proximity to rapists and murderers. Might scare some sense into them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Centrepin Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 Not sure if they still have the type of thing your looking for but have you tried the Cadet forces. Army cadets, Sea Cadets and Air Cadets. Or if through schools Combined cadet force. No where near as strict but they encourage discipline, teach a wide range of Military subjects and also encourage participation in tge D of E. Not full time just 2 hours twice a week and around 1 weekend a month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WalkedUp Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 I imagine it may be like stock training a dog when it’s already had a few sheep, and these days you can’t use force to make the lesson stick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dougy Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 If he's been a rogue outside he'll probably be a rogue inside. And if he wants he can walk out, you can't force kids to do anything these days. It's not P.C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bottletopbill Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) Used to be a Navel school near Waterloo Station some years ago if any help. London Nautical School Edited June 27, 2021 by bottletopbill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry d Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 Check with the local youth services provider, youth club, YMCA as well as they are professional youth workers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bavarianbrit Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 There is a big military school in downtown Roswell New Mexico USA, I passed it every day going to work, they even have a 1000 yard shooting range with grenade throwing pits. Get a swap organised, my pal here sent his son over to a Michigan school for 9 months, really made him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 14 hours ago, Doc Holliday said: I've been asked by a friend if I know of a military school where she can send her son. He's got in a bit of trouble and she wants him to have some discipline. Shame the child doesn't get the discipline at home! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wymberley Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 8 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: Shame the child doesn't get the discipline at home! True, but without too much effort, one could think of several reasons why you might want to wish you hadn't said that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 1 minute ago, wymberley said: True, but without too much effort, one could think of several reasons why you might want to wish you hadn't said that. My point stands, I, like you, know nothing of the situation, but it is the parents responsibility! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Centrepin Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 14 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said: Shame the child doesn't get the discipline at home! I agree discipline and self discipline begins in the home 2 minutes ago, wymberley said: True, but without too much effort, one could think of several reasons why you might want to wish you hadn't said that. Discipline doesn't have to be administered with a stick, motivation works as well. Praise works wonders even to the most vilest of creatures. I'm not into hugging brats and awarding them holidays, but just a kind word now and then in the right place if they deserve it..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Holliday Posted June 28, 2021 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 I didn't want to go into all the details but, in a nutshell, parents are divorced and kids spend alternate weeks with each. Not ideal as there is no stability and possibly quite unsettling for the kids. The daughter (soon to be 12) is fine and very bright. The son (soon to be 14) is also very bright but has Asperger's so doesn't understand how to empathise with others especially where his actions are concerned. The mother (my friend) tries to instill some kind of regime but is undermined at every turn by the father. Yes, it is easy for anyone to assume anything without knowing the full facts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 I wish her and the lad good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dougy Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 Borstal, that's where naughty kids went years ago. Didn't fix a problem though just contained it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bottletopbill Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 Just the right person talking to them and not talking down to them will get a better response and guiding them. Before you say i am push over I was a little S--t at both my primary and secondary school got the stick at least three times per week and spent most of the time on report. And I was given a talking to and it worked spent all my life working in fostering and youth work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieT Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 16 hours ago, Doc Holliday said: As per the title, I've been asked by a friend if I know of a military school where she can send her son. He's got in a bit of trouble and she wants him to have some discipline. Thanks in advance. There really are some self righteous, unhelpful posts on this forum sometimes. The only one I know of is The Duke of York's Royal Military School https://www.doyrms.com/. .................But there are boarding fees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peck Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 3 minutes ago, CharlieT said: There really are some self righteous, unhelpful posts on this forum sometimes. The only one I know of is The Duke of York's Royal Military School https://www.doyrms.com/. .................But there are boarding fees. I agree %100, i was just about to add a comment to that effect when i saw this. Every comment except one had nothing to do with the question originally asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bavarianbrit Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 The Duke of Yorks is only 2 miles away from my UK base and I have never seen any of the students hovering around Dover. Whatever that tells you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob85 Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 2 hours ago, Doc Holliday said: I didn't want to go into all the details but, in a nutshell, parents are divorced and kids spend alternate weeks with each. Not ideal as there is no stability and possibly quite unsettling for the kids. The daughter (soon to be 12) is fine and very bright. The son (soon to be 14) is also very bright but has Asperger's so doesn't understand how to empathise with others especially where his actions are concerned. The mother (my friend) tries to instill some kind of regime but is undermined at every turn by the father. Yes, it is easy for anyone to assume anything without knowing the full facts. If the child has aspergers then a military school will likely ruin him as will any attempts at instilling discipline through draconian means. You cannot beat the issue out of them. Aspergers is no longer diagnosed as a stand alone condition these days and is now put down as ASD(autism spectrum disorder). I know a bit about this kinda thing as I have 2 kids on the spectrum myself What they need to do first off is get an occupational therapist on the ball and find out from a sensory perspective what is making the boy tick. You cannot go on treating symptoms, they need to get to the bottom and work up from there. This is a situation that has been manifesting for years and been swept under the carpet as its easy to deal with smaller kids....start pushing a challenged teenager about and you will get a trouble. If the father is messing up any treatment the mother is trying then have the courts remove his rights as he is doing immense damage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clangerman Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 1 hour ago, Rob85 said: If the father is messing up any treatment the mother is trying then have the courts remove his rights as he is doing immense damage. as SHE is the one trying to place a sick child in military school when he clearly needs professional help she will leave court with less rights than she enters with if any Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave-G Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 1 hour ago, Rob85 said: If the child has aspergers then a military school will likely ruin him as will any attempts at instilling discipline through draconian means. You cannot beat the issue out of them. Aspergers is no longer diagnosed as a stand alone condition these days and is now put down as ASD(autism spectrum disorder). I know a bit about this kinda thing as I have 2 kids on the spectrum myself What they need to do first off is get an occupational therapist on the ball and find out from a sensory perspective what is making the boy tick. You cannot go on treating symptoms, they need to get to the bottom and work up from there. This is a situation that has been manifesting for years and been swept under the carpet as its easy to deal with smaller kids....start pushing a challenged teenager about and you will get a trouble. If the father is messing up any treatment the mother is trying then have the courts remove his rights as he is doing immense damage. You are so right - attempts to beat it out just breeds resentment, defiance and keeping ya head down and thoughts best not spoken of. I now know I had ASD issues that wasn't diagnosed as a kid and wasn't generally recognised in the 1950's, just put down as defiance that basically got treated with the cane at school, fists at home and being shut in the attic to stop me running away till I promised not to again and the bruises cleared up - recurring. There's more but this isn't the place for it. Sounds like the father discussed in the OP might be a wrong un too. I think I subconsciously learned to mask it as I got older and eventually became a self employed cab driver that didn't require academic achievement, teamwork or communication skills that helped build confidence somehow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discobob Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 7 hours ago, Dougy said: Borstal, that's where naughty kids went years ago. Didn't fix a problem though just contained it. Exactly what happened with my half brother - he just got more contacts in Blackpool where he was put! Never done anything with his life accept father children. I have spoken to him once in 27 years. PS - Never grew up with him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henry d Posted June 28, 2021 Report Share Posted June 28, 2021 5 hours ago, Rob85 said: If the child has aspergers then a military school will likely ruin him as will any attempts at instilling discipline through draconian means. You cannot beat the issue out of them. Aspergers is no longer diagnosed as a stand alone condition these days and is now put down as ASD(autism spectrum disorder). I know a bit about this kinda thing as I have 2 kids on the spectrum myself What they need to do first off is get an occupational therapist on the ball and find out from a sensory perspective what is making the boy tick. You cannot go on treating symptoms, they need to get to the bottom and work up from there. This is a situation that has been manifesting for years and been swept under the carpet as its easy to deal with smaller kids....start pushing a challenged teenager about and you will get a trouble. If the father is messing up any treatment the mother is trying then have the courts remove his rights as he is doing immense damage. This. Like I said, youth services will be your best bet as they are professionals and deal with this on a regular basis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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