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things your mother said to you


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Guest newarcher1

on climbing trees , dont come running to me if you break you legs

new shoes/clothes look at the state of them, and you have only had them on 2minutes

do not play marbles in the gutter you will get drain fever

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"Now think on" whilst cleaning your face with a tissue full of spit !!!

 

 

 

That was disgusting.............she tried to do that when i was passing out in the paras.........i threatened to kill her if she tried to do it again infront of my muckers.......and that didnt stop her trying again.............should be a law against it

 

 

 

 

oh... and whilst we are at it............THE TOILET SEAT !!!!................now im a simple minded sort of chap...easy going ...able to carry out simple instructions................women always wondered why we are wired differently.....its because our simple minds have been totally screwed up by them...THATS WHY.....

 

EXAMPLE........" deary....dont forget to lift the seat when you have a tinkle"...."ok mum"....(this is heard regulaly for 20 or so years...so eventually it sinks in...).............then you get married.......and for the next 30 or so years it is the total opposite......." OI ........when you have finished in the bathroom PUT THE BLOODY SEAT DOWN..."...............NOW THE QUESTION IS "do you want the damn thing up....or the bloody thing down ?" ................

Edited by ditchman
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That was disgusting.............she tried to do that when i was passing out in the paras.........i threatened to kill her if she tried to do it again infront of my muckers.......and that didnt stop her trying again.............should be a law against it

 

 

 

 

oh... and whilst we are at it............THE TOILET SEAT !!!!................now im a simple minded sort of chap...easy going ...able to carry out simple instructions................women always wondered why we are wired differently.....its because our simple minds have been totally screwed up by them...THATS WHY.....

 

EXAMPLE........" deary....dont forget to lift the seat when you have a tinkle"...."ok mum"....(this is heard regulaly for 20 or so years...so eventually it sinks in...).............then you get married.......and for the next 30 or so years it is the total opposite......." OI ........when you have finished in the bathroom PUT THE BLOODY SEAT DOWN..."...............NOW THE QUESTION IS "do you want the damn thing up....or the bloody thing down ?" ................

👍haha
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“Wait till your Father gets home”! A regular statement uttered by my Mum and of course a well-deserved one. Ouch, ouch was my least favourite bedtime story! :innocent:

 

yeah had that more than a few times, problem was my dad was in the merchant. so it could have been a week or a month until he got home............still had a heavy hand.

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Ney cast clout till Mays out, ( never cast your clothes / coat till may finishes, it's not summer till June)

 

Tuck your shirt in , if you don't you'll get back problems thru the draft

 

 

Stop picking your nose or else your head will cave in,

 

Gotta love your Mam though eh lol

 

Atb

 

Flynny

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Ney cast clout till Mays out, ( never cast your clothes / coat till may finishes, it's not summer till June)

 

Tuck your shirt in , if you don't you'll get back problems thru the draft

 

 

Stop picking your nose or else your head will cave in,

 

Gotta love your Mam though eh lol

 

Atb

 

Flynny

Haha brilliant I'm remember them well, the first one is what my grandma used to say
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when i got into mischief my mum used to say dont you come toms tricks here ,tom was the boy next door .years later he told me his mum used to say the same about me

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I can’t remember what I had done for Mother to say this but one time she said that I was a cold black hearted bar person. Father said that they should have strangled me at birth. Nice. BUT there was a time that she came shopping with us and I went into a gunshop to get some 303 oil or something and there was a lovely little Beretta 20 bore on the shelf. I asked to have a look at it, as you would and she said “do you like it”. I said, “Yes it is lovely”. Upon which she told the assistant that I would take it and that she would pay for it. I’ve still got it and will keep it as long as I am able to keep it. Never know one of the grand kids might take up shooting, that’s if they can beat off lots of people that have said that I should leave it to them.

Edited by fortune
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