toontastic Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 Book a weekend for both o you away to Amsterdam and get over it! ATB Poor choice of destination considering wifeys hardcore drug habit. He'd never see her all weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorfolkAYA Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 i really feel for this guy I really do, but you can't be serious if your going to throw your family away for a toke on a spliff. To the OP have you ever smoked weed?. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr D Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 Arrange some child care and take the woman away for the weekend. Smoking a joint once isn't the problem. If it is, well you just need to get a grip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
webb1982 Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 Noticed mattyg hasn't replied in a while maybe he's been sent to the 24 hour garage as she's got the munchies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrBob Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 (edited) We are all sentient beings. Life is hard, endless pressures and admitting it is seen as a weakness, a sign of failure, especially for blokes. My guess is that you are down at the moment, ground down by the pressures of work, society, children, debts etc, and you see your wife as a stable bastion, a beacon of decency in a corrupt and amoral world. For her to show up with a bunch of silly women friends and make a direct statement of her intent to shock, has added to the mix and overloaded your coping ability. A bit of dope is not the issue. You've both changed, probably tended to become isolated from each other, and bad thoughts quickly grow. Take her out, to somewhere special, and tell her how you feel. Tell her you're frightened, that you need her and want her. My guess is that she'll dismiss her friends as a bit of a laugh. She's a Mum, remember. She's never had time to just let her hair down, to escape the school run, homework, washing etc, and just wanted to be silly for a night. Her kids will always come first. Last summer was warm. This one's rainy. Next year might be brilliant. Don't walk away. Many wise words on this thread. Edited August 23, 2017 by DrBob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 off hire her and sub-contract some in... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mungler Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 (edited) What, you mean sack her off and get into the rental market? I like your style. Brace advice but strong advice. . Edited August 23, 2017 by Mungler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattyg1086 Posted August 23, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 (edited) We are all sentient beings. Life is hard, endless pressures and admitting it is seen as a weakness, a sign of failure, especially for blokes. My guess is that you are down at the moment, ground down by the pressures of work, society, children, debts etc, and you see your wife as a stable bastion, a beacon of decency in a corrupt and amoral world. For her to show up with a bunch of silly women friends and make a direct statement of her intent to shock, has added to the mix and overloaded your coping ability. A bit of dope is not the issue. You've both changed, probably tended to become isolated from each other, and bad thoughts quickly grow. Take her out, to somewhere special, and tell her how you feel. Tell her you're frightened, that you need her and want her. My guess is that she'll dismiss her friends as a bit of a laugh. She's a Mum, remember. She's never had time to just let her hair down, to escape the school run, homework, washing etc, and just wanted to be silly for a night. Her kids will always come first. Last summer was warm. This one's rainy. Next year might be brilliant. Don't walk away. Many wise words on this thread. thank you this was helpful We have had a chat today and I think we will try to stay together this was not the sole reason but the straw that broke the camels back so to speak we have been growing apart for a while I feel and I was/am scared that I will lose her. I work nights which probably doesn't help and am trying to move onto the day shift where I work to get more time together in the evenings however we both work shifts so hopefully it will be ok. Edited August 23, 2017 by mattyg1086 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mossy835 Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 hope it works out for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aga man Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 We are all sentient beings. Life is hard, endless pressures and admitting it is seen as a weakness, a sign of failure, especially for blokes. My guess is that you are down at the moment, ground down by the pressures of work, society, children, debts etc, and you see your wife as a stable bastion, a beacon of decency in a corrupt and amoral world. For her to show up with a bunch of silly women friends and make a direct statement of her intent to shock, has added to the mix and overloaded your coping ability. A bit of dope is not the issue. You've both changed, probably tended to become isolated from each other, and bad thoughts quickly grow. Take her out, to somewhere special, and tell her how you feel. Tell her you're frightened, that you need her and want her. My guess is that she'll dismiss her friends as a bit of a laugh. She's a Mum, remember. She's never had time to just let her hair down, to escape the school run, homework, washing etc, and just wanted to be silly for a night. Her kids will always come first. Last summer was warm. This one's rainy. Next year might be brilliant. Don't walk away. Many wise words on this thread. Great post Dr Bob. Only thing I could add to it is 'Make love not war' life is too damn short. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortune Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 Every person and situation is a constant moving sea of different levels, expectations and demands. I married one person who changed into someone else when the family came along. someone has to be the captain of the ship and stear some sort of course through the rocks and shallows. Even if you think that you haven't been the cause of the problem, whatever it is, it is you who needs to get in there and do something about it sooner rather than later. Generally the grass ain't greener over there and the novelty soon wears off. What you perceive as her faults may well fade into insignificance when you are on your own in some grotty poky bed sit doing for yourself with not a lot of money and no input into the situation that you did have. Best wishes to you. make the right decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mice! Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 thank you this was helpful We have had a chat today and I think we will try to stay together this was not the sole reason but the straw that broke the camels back so to speak we have been growing apart for a while I feel and I was/am scared that I will lose her. I work nights which probably doesn't help and am trying to move onto the day shift where I work to get more time together in the evenings however we both work shifts so hopefully it will be ok. I would be careful of changing to day shift if it's straight days, I've always worked shifts but every now and then I think I'll be normal and work days like everyone else. It doesn't take long to realise why you liked nights, more money less hassle, take the kids to school, walk the dog at your leisure, just my thoughts good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pushkin Posted August 23, 2017 Report Share Posted August 23, 2017 Matty Matty Matty She is your wife but not someone that you can decide how she has to live her life. Di9d you tell her how to bring up the kids or were you always there doing it all before she got the chance? I hope you never get into the type of situation where your down the boozer and you end up snogging another female or even worse one of wifey's mates How could you even bring yourself to tell her? Or would you?. What on earth are you and your mates doing talking about your sex-life - how condescending of you to do that. You supposedly have a pair of nuts on your body then start using them and man up - do not talk about your love life that is so wrong or is it a case of ooh I'm a big boy listen to what i do with my wife. And then you go ballistic about her saying she had a spliff and told you it was no big deal and didn't enjoy it. And then you took the huff basically and took yourself out of the marital bed - WHY? You did that to yourself not your wife! Dear God I am praying that this couple see the light and get it on again and have a long and lasting life ahead of them (Mines 33 years this month and boy have we had our ups and downs) its not easy. Pushkin Best of luck mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashman Posted August 24, 2017 Report Share Posted August 24, 2017 If it floats, runs or fornicates, it's better to lease than own, so bin the current one and hire yourself a new one from Russia or the Far East (depending on your flavour choice). Most of them start out grateful for a roof over their head and indoor plumbing and you can chop her in when you get bored. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted August 24, 2017 Report Share Posted August 24, 2017 ive often heard.....this from a woman ...."if its got wheels or testicles, you just know its going to be trouble".......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dougall Posted August 24, 2017 Report Share Posted August 24, 2017 ive often heard.....this from a woman ...."if its got wheels or testicles, you just know its going to be trouble".......... blimey Ive got both... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted August 24, 2017 Report Share Posted August 24, 2017 blimey Ive got both... you are in deep du-du then... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fortune Posted August 24, 2017 Report Share Posted August 24, 2017 If it floats, runs or fornicates, it's better to lease than own, so bin the current one and hire yourself a new one from Russia or the Far East (depending on your flavour choice). Most of them start out grateful for a roof over their head and indoor plumbing and you can chop her in when you get bored. I've heard that the Salvation Army save bad women !! I'm sure that if you ask nicely, they might put a couple by for you for the weekend. >> I've been married for far too long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benbaikal Posted August 24, 2017 Report Share Posted August 24, 2017 I had a bird once that was a stoner.... most amazing intercourse ever, the things that girl wanted to do after joint hahaha Dowm side was- afterwards she'd eat every last bit of chocolate and bag of crisps in a 50 metre radius lol was she a fat bird Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShootingEgg Posted August 24, 2017 Report Share Posted August 24, 2017 was she a fat bird She worked out just after so doubt it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muncher Posted August 24, 2017 Report Share Posted August 24, 2017 Sounds like a control issue to me ,you dont like the fact she did what she and her friends did,get over yourself or someone will get over your wife,then you will realise that you are being a berk. Ive been there and got the T shirt and its not nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archie-fox Posted August 24, 2017 Report Share Posted August 24, 2017 off hire her and sub-contract some in... Tinder... tell em your a fireman/pilot. Job jobbed. If it floats, runs or fornicates, it's better to lease than own, so bin the current one and hire yourself a new one from Russia or the Far East (depending on your flavour choice). Most of them start out grateful for a roof over their head and indoor plumbing and you can chop her in when you get bored. Strong advice but I like your thinking... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattyg1086 Posted August 24, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2017 Matty Matty Matty She is your wife but not someone that you can decide how she has to live her life. Di9d you tell her how to bring up the kids or were you always there doing it all before she got the chance? I hope you never get into the type of situation where your down the boozer and you end up snogging another female or even worse one of wifey's mates How could you even bring yourself to tell her? Or would you?. What on earth are you and your mates doing talking about your sex-life - how condescending of you to do that. You supposedly have a pair of nuts on your body then start using them and man up - do not talk about your love life that is so wrong or is it a case of ooh I'm a big boy listen to what i do with my wife. And then you go ballistic about her saying she had a spliff and told you it was no big deal and didn't enjoy it. And then you took the huff basically and took yourself out of the marital bed - WHY? You did that to yourself not your wife! Dear God I am praying that this couple see the light and get it on again and have a long and lasting life ahead of them (Mines 33 years this month and boy have we had our ups and downs) its not easy. Pushkin Best of luck mate I never talk about my sex life it's our mutual friends say things that they do and I'm thinking in my head I must be really boring. I wouldn't tell anyone about my sex life that would be very disrespectful to my wife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyefor Posted August 25, 2017 Report Share Posted August 25, 2017 Post 1 ......I am disgusted with her ...... I'll always love her but this has turned me right off her now Latest post ....I wouldn't tell anyone about my sex life that would be very disrespectful to my wife... YEAH!!! Great. You do love her. Well done. Keep talking to each other. I'm sure you'll work it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamish64 Posted August 28, 2017 Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 Hang in there, it's not the end of the world Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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