kdubya Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 always been a confident perhaps over confident chap, now I'm having kittens, my second eldest daughter who I have not seen since she was about 9 (long story and we WONT be going there) she is now 35 !! has contacted me and is coming to see me on Saturday evening, god I'm wrecked how do I deal with this then, british stiff upper lip is going to be a struggle, anyone been in the same boat if so how did it work out? KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overandunder2012 Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 it will be ok i didnt see 1 of mine till she was 16 we get on fine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
novice cushie shooter Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 I have not but i wish you all the best. It will be very emotional no doubt. Good luck gordon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddy Galore! Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 Food! try somewhere quiet you've got a lot of catching up to do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elby Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 Good luck with it all KW. Sod the stiff upper lip, follow ya heart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Mongrel- Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 Do you know why she's coming? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdubya Posted November 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 Do you know why she's coming? I think she has decided there are two sides to every story, I do know she has been asking questions IE what am I like etc, so she must have been thinking about for a while, so we will see. KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalconFN Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 I've never been in a similar position but the fact that she wants to see you must mean something. Good luck, hope it goes well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nikk Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 My wife was in a similar position. She had a lot of anger stored up to be honest and felt like she had been abandoned. I am happy to say that many years later they have a good relationship and a smashing chinwag on the phone tonight as he rang her on her birthday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerCat Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 Get a bottle of gin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fatcatsplat Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 Good luck - Go in arms and eyes wide open. Hope it works out well for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRNDL Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 The best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul223 Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 Good luck with it fella, she's come looking for you so that must mean a lot, and yeah sod the stuff upper lip Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisherman Mike Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 always been a confident perhaps over confident chap, now I'm having kittens, my second eldest daughter who I have not seen since she was about 9 (long story and we WONT be going there) she is now 35 !! has contacted me and is coming to see me on Saturday evening, god I'm wrecked how do I deal with this then, british stiff upper lip is going to be a struggle, anyone been in the same boat if so how did it work out? KW Don't worry ...no doubt she will be as nervous as you are. ...your heart will lead you...but don't have a dutch courage or two before the meeting she will smell it on your breath and will think you have a problem ...wait until she gets there and then crack open a bottle. Good luck I hope it leads to a successful reconciliation....life is far to short especially when it comes to family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davyo Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 Main thing is mate make amends and forget the past, there is a chance for a good future.I fell out with my parents 10yrs ago and dont even know if my mum is still alive.She has never met my youngest son, now 9yrs old.I deeply regret falling out but she turned her back on me after i found it hard to accept my dad back after he had an affair.I know in time I would of accepted my dad back but she didnt understand that I was hurting also.I have let it go on for over 10yrs and wanted to get back in touch but havent probably in fear of rejection.Hope everything goes ok for you mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 90 Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 I had a period of around 3 1/2 years without seeing my Baby - from been 9 to almost 14 (caused directly by influence of my deranged ex) When she realised the truth & we got together all those lost years were gone in an instant ! She's 20 now & we speak & text everyday & have lunch/dinner as our lives permit. Good luck Fella - she's still your Baby after all ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
955i Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 (edited) Don't need a stiff upper lip mate, she is your daughter and sure she is aware of the reasons you haven't seen her. Emotions will be high but the fact that she has contacted you suggests it will end in hugs rather than bad words. Hope it all goes well for you, I am sure this will be a positive event. Just make sure the gap doesn't grow again. Good luck fella EDIT: I fell out with my Dad nearly 20 years ago, he wanted to know why he hadn't been invited to my wedding and wouldn't accept that it would have upset my Mum. It was her day as much as ours and didn't want her upset by him and his wife being there. We didn't speak for about 10 years until I decided it was time to bury the hatchet and called him. We spoke awkwardly for a while but ended up admitting that it was silly not to talk. Next time I heard of him was two weeks later with my Mum telling me he had died of an aneurism (sp) in his sleep. I often think how bad I would have felt if I hadn't made that phone call and how much I may have missed out on due to a petty squabble. Give it everything you have mate, you never know what will happen and you have loads to gain and nothing to lose . At the end of the day, family is all you have. Edited November 18, 2013 by 955i Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Geordie Posted November 18, 2013 Report Share Posted November 18, 2013 I hope you both get on really well, and feel enlightened! ATB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KFC Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Hope everything goes well for you. I've not had a straightforward relationship with my kids, due to being separated by 300 miles and, as you say, stuff I'm not going into. Forget the stiff upper lip. Love is the answer. It will be fine but, as well as joy, expect some anger. I had that from my eldest. Lots of love but then lots of years of pent up emotion burst out and she even physically attacked me but I was well capable of soaking it up and we ended up hugging. Forget the booze. She wants to see the real you. Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aka_t50 Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Good luck mate be yourself im sure all will be Fine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiffy Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 obviosuly any suggestions would have to relate to your reasons for not seeing in her in a long time but i understand and respect your wish for privacy there all i will say is im sure any plans you have will crumble when you meet as emotions kick in so just go with the flow... what will happen will happen, just enjoy the moment and let your side of the story unfold.. at 35 she will i hope have the maturity to see and understand your side of things and your family at the end of the day.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchieboy Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 I think she has decided there are two sides to every story, I do know she has been asking questions IE what am I like etc, so she must have been thinking about for a while, so we will see. KW Better not let her know what you are really like! As has ben said, forget all about this British stiff upper lip rubbish, just follow your heart and then enjoy making up for lost time mate! I wish you both well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JDog Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 The 'best of British' to you, but forget the stiff upper lip. Any plans you make will go straight out of the window. You will either get on together or you won't but however well you get on you are supposed to be the father figure in this relationship and if any concessions need to be made to ensure more contact then you need to make them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krugerandsmith Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 always been a confident perhaps over confident chap, now I'm having kittens, my second eldest daughter who I have not seen since she was about 9 (long story and we WONT be going there) she is now 35 !! has contacted me and is coming to see me on Saturday evening, god I'm wrecked how do I deal with this then, british stiff upper lip is going to be a struggle, anyone been in the same boat if so how did it work out? KW Don't worry you will know exactly what to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rimfire4969 Posted November 19, 2013 Report Share Posted November 19, 2013 Not been there myself but my best mate has just gone through something similar, we talked long and hard about it before and after. I am sure after all is time there will be loads of questions and some you won't like, but speak the truth even if you don't want too. I really hope this is the start of something very special for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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