fse10 Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 My farther who i have not spoken to in the last 22 years died last week from bone cancer. I have regrets that i did not make more of an effort to get passed our issues & that he never saw my two daughters , but i made the effort to be at his bedside & was with him for three hours holding his hand until he passed away. I hope he knew i was there as he was on a high dose of pain med's but when my sister said to him your boys here as i took his hand his half closed eyes moved towards me & his hand flexed in mine Now for the anger which i will need to hide at his funeral tomorrow as one of his so called best friends who he did odd jobs for & who treated him more like a dogs body will be there. But this leech of a man had got my dad to make him the sole benefactor of his estate not that he had much & i would not want anything as think my sister who looked after him when he was ill should have it, But this #### of a man would not even let her take some fishing rod's that my sister has said she thought dad would of wanted me to have is wineding me up a bit & i may feel the urge to put him on his ****. But calm me has to resist, my dad was a biker & some of his hell's angel friends will be at the service so part of me is hoping they see this leech for what he is & put some hurt on him. Sat here my blood is boiling just thinking about it but the rant has done me good. One thing i will say regret is a bad thing so if any of you lot have family you've not seen or spoken to over silly things may be time to mend bridges before it's to late as it is for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zapp Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Sorry to hear. My only advise would be don't do anything tomorrow, celebrate your dad's life, mourn his passing, spend time with family reflecting on the good times. After that, it's your call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katzenjammer Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Sorry to hear this. Let tomorrow pass quietly. But if you feel strongly about the exclusion of your sister then perhaps you should both take advice on whether the will can be contested and investigated as to whether your father was pressured or coerced into this decision in any way? There was a recent case where a woman estranged from her mother was left nothing - it was all left to animal charities. But she contested it and was awarded something on the grounds that she was and always had been in a fairly parlous state financially. I think the words used by the judge were to the effect that parents should make provision for children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonLuke Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Sorry for your loss. No cretin is worth loosing your ticket over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STOTTO Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 To deal with any regrets reflect upon the reasons for your estrangement from your father and then move on, do not dwell on your remorse for those absent years or you will be locked into memories of an unpleasant past forever! As for your father’s friend, he was his friend and therefore can never be yours! Regards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartynGT4 Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Sorry for your loss. As for tomorrow, don't let him get to you and leave it be. No doubt the day will be difficult enough without having a row over your father's estate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lloyd90 Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 When did the will take place ? I would seriously question the capacity of someone to make such an important decision if done so under the influence of meds or with any medical conditions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_b_wales Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 A sad loss, for you and your family. Your Dad new you were there. and I'm sure he's looking down on you now, with no feelings of hatred or malice. Regarding the will, I would certainly look into contesting it. It's been done successfully before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evo Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 sorry to hear your sad news ,,, but very very wise words written by KEG atb Evo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mossy835 Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winnie&bezza Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Do as keg says but for a man to do that and get sole beneficiary on an estate of a non family member and it happen to be my dad then I would bring him down to his knees! Whatever way possible (sneakily so you won't lose you license) and call me childish or pathetic but I couldn't have someone getting the better of a family member. If you don't mind me asking did he get your dad to sign it when he was very ill? Good luck with whatever you do and sorry for you loss. Atb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fse10 Posted October 6, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Do as keg says but for a man to do that and get sole beneficiary on an estate of a non family member and it happen to be my dad then I would bring him down to his knees! Whatever way possible (sneakily so you won't lose you license) and call me childish or pathetic but I couldn't have someone getting the better of a family member. If you don't mind me asking did he get your dad to sign it when he was very ill? Good luck with whatever you do and sorry for you loss. Atb No i think it was some time ago but as i said he did not have much & think by the time the service is payed for he may only get a few quid. boils my **** as the leech is worth a few quid himself so just getting on my tits he is making a few bob from my dads death but he will get his....He even took my dads fishing gear but have had the last laugh as all the rods are missing sections don't know how that happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cambsman Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Avoid violence. See a solicitor and you may be able to get it overturned. Much more satisfying result in the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felly100 Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 Sorry for your loss. Why didn't you take the whole rod rather than one section? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Geordie Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 My heart felt sympathy on losing your father! I think reguardless of the pain meds he will have known you were there! You had the good fortune to be there for his passing! Lots don't get that chance! As for the funeral, I would just get that day over with no drama, perhaps mull it over afterward! I wouldn't let it wind you up too much! Hard to accept I know, but turning a funeral into a brawl is rather disrespectful, not only to the deceased, but to the mourners! Perhaps have a quiet word with the guy afterward if you really have to! Again, sorry for your loss! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sitsinhedges Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 With respect, if you couldn't be bothered with your father for 22 years I can't really see why you are getting involved now. Maybe you should just respect the fact that your father wanted this person to receive what he left behind rather than causing a lot of trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 im very sorry for the loss of your dad , one consolation is that you were there at the very end and you got to say goodbye. tomorrow is a day for dignity and certainly not the time for a fight , put all thoughts of the guy and wills etc from your mind , just spend the day paying your last respects to your dad . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluebarrels Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) With respect, if you couldn't be bothered with your father for 22 years I can't really see why you are getting involved now. Maybe you should just respect the fact that your father wanted this person to receive what he left behind rather than causing a lot of trouble. Sorry if it sounds harsh but im with sitsinhedges on this one,surely after 22 years your more or less strangers BB Edited October 6, 2015 by Bluebarrels Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigeonblasterian Posted October 6, 2015 Report Share Posted October 6, 2015 With respect, if you couldn't be bothered with your father for 22 years I can't really see why you are getting involved now. Maybe you should just respect the fact that your father wanted this person to receive what he left behind rather than causing a lot of trouble. Sorry if it sounds harsh but im with sitsinhedges on this one,surely after 22 years your more or less strangers BB This other bloke has probably been a better friend to your father than you have for the last 22 years. No need to be bitter that he is getting what your father wanted him to have. Attend the funeral and pay your last respects and leave it at that and move on from it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rimfire4969 Posted October 7, 2015 Report Share Posted October 7, 2015 Very sorry for your loss. How does your sister feel about the will? she was there through the hard times if she is not bothered I see no reason for you to be. If she feels it was very unfair than she should speak to a solicitor. Suck it in and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harpoonlouis Posted October 7, 2015 Report Share Posted October 7, 2015 There are some well documented steps to grieving and sounds like you are in one of the early stages right now, have a look online at any of the bereavement charities and you will probably find them quite easily, they may well go a long way to explaining why you fee the way you do now, sounds pretty natural to me. You will progress along the path naturally at your own speed, try not to stop the process by hanging onto any stage too long, it all works itself out in the end. You may well be angry but not quite for the reason you think, this idiot may just be a handy target which is very understandable but attacking him won't really easy your pain. Hope it all works out for you soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fse10 Posted October 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2015 This other bloke has probably been a better friend to your father than you have for the last 22 years. No need to be bitter that he is getting what your father wanted him to have. Attend the funeral and pay your last respects and leave it at that and move on from it. I knew my dads so called friend from when i was 10 until i left home at 18 & he was always a **** then & treated my dad like a dogs body back then as my dad use to drive him about. My dad had better & closer friends then this leech so i find it strange he would leave everything to him as would of thought he would of left his fishing gear to his fishing partner. As all this leech wants to do is sell everything he even had my dads car picked up two hours after they had picked up my dads body sounds like a good friend to me NOT. I've already said i don't wont anything & think my sister who cared for him when he was ill should get it & not this so called friend who only wants to make a few quid. As my dad did not have much would cost more for legal advise to contest the will, but any way what go's around comes around so i hope he gets whats coming to him sooner rather then later Well im off to pay my last respects left a glass to the good times of past & forget all about the leech of a man my dads so called friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twistedsanity Posted October 7, 2015 Report Share Posted October 7, 2015 (edited) i am sorry for your loss fella , all i can say is that time is a great healer, when grandad died in the 80's his 'friend ' went round and took all his guns off of nan, he did her a big favour by giving her £500 for his gun collecton, around ten pieces two were purdeys and one was an H&H!! Edited October 7, 2015 by Twistedsanity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digger Posted October 7, 2015 Report Share Posted October 7, 2015 I don't get on with my dad and never have done. When he slips off ill not be there nor when they put him in the ground. Accepted it and concentrate on my children so I can be the father he never was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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