Useless birthday presents

[chrisjpainter]

Well, today's the day and my partner's mum bought me...these. They're pizza scissors. The idea is you cut and lift the slice at the same time. Except they're actually really annoying. They get in the way when you make the first cut, because there's nothing to lift up and who cuts an individual slice anyway? Doesn't everyone cut all the slices and then worry about removing a piece? But to do that you have to reverse all the way out, otherwise you take out a piece anyway and it just makes it such a slow process!

And being a triangular shape, the don't work with square pizzas (which are morally wrong, but they do exist). And they feel like ambidextrous as scissors, which is code for uncomfortable in both hands. I'm not ungrateful and appreciate the sentiment, especially as we both love pizza as a treat, but..yeahhh.

An elaborate solution to a problem that never existed in the first place.

What manner of uselessness have people  been lumbered with on their day? 

 

[mellors]

Definitely useless.

Try turing them upside down for the first cut. 

We had some for a xmas present years ago there in the workshop somewhere.

Other worst present one handed water bottle for jogging i think i binned it. 

 

[old'un]

Yep, as you say completely useless for cutting pizza, sister-in-law bought a pair, when you cut into the pizza you still cant lift it out because the other side is still attached to the pizza.

as you say, someone's come up with solution to a problem that never existed in the first place.

Looks like you have a future pressy for someone.

[243deer]

A blade-tec knife ruiner 

[bruno22rf]

What's a Pizza?

[ditchman]

my father was the best at useless presents....me and him didnt like each other fro year dot....i think he used to enjoy the look of total dismay on my face at xmas and birthdays....

i used to lay in bed at night thinking of different ways i could poison him..

[Old farrier]

Here’s one of my favourite useless presents 

anyone who knows me knows why 😂😂😂

[oldypigeonpopper]

48 minutes ago, ditchman said:

my father was the best at useless presents....me and him didnt like each other fro year dot....i think he used to enjoy the look of total dismay on my face at xmas and birthdays....

i used to lay in bed at night thinking of different ways i could poison him..

Hello, a similar up bringing to mine Simon although my father poisoned himself eventually with being an alcoholic 

[henry d]

Can you not just cut once then move counter clockwise snip and lift?

You haven't put on a bit of weight recently and she's trying to say something without saying it?

[hawkfanz]

this is the problem,when you make food thats round put it in a square box and the cut into triangles,its never gonna work.

[old'un]

11 minutes ago, henry d said:

Can you not just cut once then move counter clockwise snip and lift?

You haven't put on a bit of weight recently and she's trying to say something without saying it?

You could I guess but it gets a bit messy, this is so much easier...

 

 

[London Best]

2 hours ago, bruno22rf said:

What's a Pizza?

Certainly not food.

[old'un]

1 hour ago, London Best said:

Certainly not food.

yes it is..

[bruno22rf]

1 hour ago, old'un said:

yes it is..

Oh No it isn't 🤢.

[manthing]

4 minutes ago, bruno22rf said:

Oh No it isn't 🤢.

Ohh yes it is. Lol

[old'un]

15 minutes ago, bruno22rf said:

Oh No it isn't 🤢.

You have obviously never had a decent pizza.

[Newbie to this]

12 minutes ago, manthing said:

Ohh yes it is. Lol

Only just passable though.

[bruno22rf]

9 minutes ago, old'un said:

You have obviously never had a decent pizza.

Cos it doesn't exist.🤪🙃

[London Best]

Horrible Mediterranean carp.

I would rather eat grass.

[old'un]

7 minutes ago, London Best said:

Horrible Mediterranean carp.

I would rather eat grass.

Never tried a carp pizza?

Love the smell of freshly cut grass.

[enfieldspares]

Golf ball initial stamping "tongs". Apparently my golf playing friend says that they just use a permanent black, or other colour, felt marker pen! Cheaper, does for everybody and, he told me, that's why charity shops all seem to have one of these unused sets of "tongs" somewhere abouts.

[Minky]

7 hours ago, London Best said:

Certainly not food.

 

5 hours ago, old'un said:

yes it is..

 

4 hours ago, bruno22rf said:

Oh No it isn't 🤢.

 

4 hours ago, manthing said:

Ohh yes it is. Lol

 

3 hours ago, old'un said:

You have obviously never had a decent pizza.

 

3 hours ago, London Best said:

Horrible Mediterranean carp.

I would rather eat grass.

😀😂😃😅😀😂😆 That sounds like Father in law. "I'll not eat that foriegn muck"   hoo hoo hoo.  The Mrs makes gorgeous pizza.  She loads it up with everything as extras.  Bacon, tomato, black and green olives, italian seasoning, olive oil and more tomato ketchup.   AND those scissors would be no use to her because she issues out more than a slice.  She uses one of those Chinese choppers. It's a proper PORTION. LOVE THE WOMAN. I can go out on night patrol ALL night on that. And a couple of mugs of coffee.

[TIGHTCHOKE]

8 hours ago, hawkfanz said:

this is the problem,when you make food thats round put it in a square box and the cut into triangles,its never gonna work.

Blame the Italians and the Americans!

[ditchman]

3 hours ago, old'un said:

Never tried a carp pizza?

Love the smell of freshly cut grass.

not as good as "i love the smell of napalm in the morning"

[discobob]

My wife’s family are constantly buying **** for each other’s birthdays and Christmases  - winds me up the amount of **** she gets whereas she spends time (and money) to get them something decent

one Christmas I got a Royal Family toilet gift set that had obviously been grabbed last minute for C&A useless gift area they always had - and I detested that show