samboy Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 Hi gang. I was walking round the field with an 82 yr old woman and our dogs when she suddenly said i think i'll buy a vibrator. I nearly choked. But what she meant was one of those things you put your feet in and it revitalises your legs as seen on tv. Bless her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno22rf Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 A few years back my Mrs was sitting on the window ledge upstairs, leaning outside to clean the Glass, Elderly chap next door working on his Garden shouts out " Christine - have you got a strap on". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldypigeonpopper Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 22 minutes ago, samboy said: Hi gang. I was walking round the field with an 82 yr old woman and our dogs when she suddenly said i think i'll buy a vibrator. I nearly choked. But what she meant was one of those things you put your feet in and it revitalises your legs as seen on tv. Bless her. Botham's delight 🤔😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave at kelton Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 23 minutes ago, samboy said: Hi gang. I was walking round the field with an 82 yr old woman and our dogs when she suddenly said i think i'll buy a vibrator. I nearly choked. But what she meant was one of those things you put your feet in and it revitalises your legs as seen on tv. Bless her. Well if she had bought the other sort it would be dual purpose. Throw it in the washing up bowl and you can relieve your aching feet as well……… a mate tells me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_b_wales Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 When I worked for FADS (D I Y chain) a woman came into the shop and asked if I sold dildo rail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 I can trump those. Many years ago , whilst working in a garage , we were all sitting eating lunch , when a 40 something year old lady, walks in carrying a large vibrator and a pack of batteries. She asked if one of us could fit the new batteries as she couldn't get it apart , the boss changed the batteries, and handed it back , with a few added greasy fingerprints , and a grin 😅😅😅😅. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billytheghillie Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 When i worked in a sex shop, a woman came in and said " Can i have that big tartan dildo thats on the top shelf? " I said no love, thats my thermos flask! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hodge911 Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 My Mrs used to wear a perfume called ORGANZA .... We were at the metro centre when she said oh I need to get a new bottle of perfume so into perfume shop we go and the middle aged woman behind the counter pipes up can I help . My Mrs says yes please can I have a bottle of ORGASM sales assistant replied I wish they sold it pet I'd have the biggest bottle they sold . I was peeing myself . My Mrs took a wee while to fathom out why Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobba Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 Doing some hedge trimming when the old lady over the road (who knew my wife since childhood) wandered over and asked “ Bob, if you’ve got 5 minutes would you come over and trim my bush?” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WalkedUp Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, steve_b_wales said: When I worked for FADS (D I Y chain) a woman came into the shop and asked if I sold dildo rail. We were working on a four storey Victorian house converting it back from apartments to a large house for a lesbian couple. We were talking about finishes and fittings and they had the exact same slip of the tongue, then burst into giggles as we sat blushing. The best lesbian client moment came much more deliberately.... A young attractive lesbian (late 20s) we were working for came into the office for some superficial reason, unusual as she was dolled up and had never been particularly friendly or to the office before. She then she sat perched on the desk and explained how it was really hard to find a good sperm donor and that they are very expensive.... She owed us money anyway as the project had snowballed on a fixed fee so I was in no mood to give away more freebies. Edited August 23, 2021 by WalkedUp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islandgun Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 In an Indian restaurant the young lady i was with asked the waiter for some condoms............ [ large crispy things] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoBodyImportant Posted August 23, 2021 Report Share Posted August 23, 2021 My wife was a very conservative girl. Refused to kiss before marriage type. Her dad had a old 1969 chevelle car no seatbealts and slick plastic covered seats.) We was at a car show and she was walking with my father. She saw a 69 and said. I used to have a lot of fun rolling around in the backseat of one of those! Talking about have her and her brother would slide back and forth in the seat as her father drove around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted August 24, 2021 Report Share Posted August 24, 2021 my mum was a bit niaeve...............during the start of the AIDS crisis...the govt were sending round "kids" / young people knocking on peoples doors asking lifestyle questions...........one of the questions was .."do you partake in watersports"...........she hadnt a clue what was the real reason...but went on at lenghth about her watersking in the far east in the early 60's.......... she would often relate this story to ....lets say ...more well informed friends.....who never had the bottle to fess up as to what the govt survey was really about Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discobob Posted August 24, 2021 Report Share Posted August 24, 2021 Down the Falklands you had to check your main luggage in the day before the flight back - I gave a girl of my watch a lift up with her case - it was put through an X-Ray machine - and in it was the biggest Dado Rail - and she was only tiny!!! She actually appeared in recruitment photo's the following year if I remember right!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sciurus Posted August 24, 2021 Report Share Posted August 24, 2021 A girl I worked with in Leigh, asked her mother to go to the chemist and buy her some depilatory cream using the local nickname. Apparently, The mother then marched up to the counter in Boots and asked in a very loud voice “can I have a jar of MUFF DE-FLUFF cream please!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davewh100 Posted August 24, 2021 Report Share Posted August 24, 2021 47 minutes ago, Sciurus said: A girl I worked with in Leigh, asked her mother to go to the chemist and buy her some depilatory cream using the local nickname. Apparently, The mother then marched up to the counter in Boots and asked in a very loud voice “can I have a jar of MUFF DE-FLUFF cream please!” 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team tractor Posted August 26, 2021 Report Share Posted August 26, 2021 Being on the dating scene has certainly been an eye opener 😂. I’ve discovered most single ladies have a drawer without a handle by the bed 😂😂😂. Most are so open about it too . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discobob Posted August 26, 2021 Report Share Posted August 26, 2021 the title of this has reminded me of an old joke Women eh!! Can't live with them - and can't bury them under the patio!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno22rf Posted August 26, 2021 Report Share Posted August 26, 2021 On 23/08/2021 at 20:20, billytheghillie said: When i worked in a sex shop, a woman came in and said " Can i have that big tartan dildo thats on the top shelf? " I said no love, thats my thermos flask! Same when I worked in one but the lass asked for the "red one on the wall behind you", had to tell her that it was a fire extinguisher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.