Lord Geordie Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 The event I have dreaded for years has finally happened. Having spent over 10 hours in hospital by her side, at 23:55 the woman who brought me into this world, has finally left mine. đ she fought with COPD and a weak heart for years, but finally today her heart could not cope any longer. Surrounded with love she peacefully slipped away. Poor dad was asleep at home having spent the day there with me. Not only visiting mum, but complaining of chest pain. After xrays they have found a shadow in his lung. They think it may be the big C but he needs to go back for them to do more tests. I had to drive down and wake him at midnight and hug him as I told him his wife of over 50 years had gone before him. It broke my heart to have to leave her to the hospital staff after they confirmed her death. But will take dad tomorrow to visit her in the chapel of rest. Now the paperwork all starts. I donât know whatâs going to happen at work as I am unsure if they pay for bereavement leave and I canât really miss the mortgage. I will have to chat to them about it.  this is such a distressing time for the whole family. I have managed to hold it together today and support my sisters and my brother. Dad was already accepting of the fact mum was not coming home. He turned to his belief in God, and clings to the hope he will see her again. I have offered him a room here at mine on a permanent basis if he needs. Or if he wants I can move into a room there on a short term basis until he comes to terms fully.  I have lost many loved ones. Aunts, uncles, grandparents! Nothing could have prepared me for this! Holding her hand I couldnât help but think of all the times those hands had an impact on my life, holding me as a child, feeding, nappy changes, winding, rocking the cot, pushing the pram, dressing me, working to provide for me, cuddling me when I was unwell or sad, helping me when I needed, congratulating me, patting me on the back, holding my hand and telling me everything would be ok as she lay dying. Then finally letting go as she slipped away after 73 years.  Good night Mum. Sleep well and We will ALL see you again when you wake! But until then, know you were âareâ loved and held close to our hearts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 (edited) Very sorry to learn of your Mothers passing Mate. At least you were there, I was with my Father when he slipped away in 1987. Be strong for your Father and Chris and remember the good times. Edited August 21, 2019 by TIGHTCHOKE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sam triple Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 sorry for your loss RIP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deny essex Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Sorry for your loss, I have lost too many family and friends, hold them in your head and your heart and they will never leave you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnfromUK Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Very sorry and wishing you strength in the days and weeks to come Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yates Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Iâm sorry for your loss. I have lost both parents and totally understand what you must be feeling right now. Best wishes to you and your family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamster Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Sorry for your loss and may she Rest in Peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno22rf Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Beautifully written, the love you feel for your Mum is plain for all to see. Be there for you Dad and you may find comfort in helping others to come to terms with this very sad event. Bless her and may her God keep her well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team tractor Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Ouch mate. Sorry to hear this đ . as my parents are getting older and slower I know whatâs happening without anything I can do. Thank god you have siblings to help you out.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krugerandsmith Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 4 hours ago, Lord Geordie said: The event I have dreaded for years has finally happened. Having spent over 10 hours in hospital by her side, at 23:55 the woman who brought me into this world, has finally left mine. đ she fought with COPD and a weak heart for years, but finally today her heart could not cope any longer. Surrounded with love she peacefully slipped away. Poor dad was asleep at home having spent the day there with me. Not only visiting mum, but complaining of chest pain. After xrays they have found a shadow in his lung. They think it may be the big C but he needs to go back for them to do more tests. I had to drive down and wake him at midnight and hug him as I told him his wife of over 50 years had gone before him. It broke my heart to have to leave her to the hospital staff after they confirmed her death. But will take dad tomorrow to visit her in the chapel of rest. Now the paperwork all starts. I donât know whatâs going to happen at work as I am unsure if they pay for bereavement leave and I canât really miss the mortgage. I will have to chat to them about it.  this is such a distressing time for the whole family. I have managed to hold it together today and support my sisters and my brother. Dad was already accepting of the fact mum was not coming home. He turned to his belief in God, and clings to the hope he will see her again. I have offered him a room here at mine on a permanent basis if he needs. Or if he wants I can move into a room there on a short term basis until he comes to terms fully.  I have lost many loved ones. Aunts, uncles, grandparents! Nothing could have prepared me for this! Holding her hand I couldnât help but think of all the times those hands had an impact on my life, holding me as a child, feeding, nappy changes, winding, rocking the cot, pushing the pram, dressing me, working to provide for me, cuddling me when I was unwell or sad, helping me when I needed, congratulating me, patting me on the back, holding my hand and telling me everything would be ok as she lay dying. Then finally letting go as she slipped away after 73 years.  Good night Mum. Sleep well and We will ALL see you again when you wake! But until then, know you were âareâ loved and held close to our hearts. Having been through this myself I know how you feel.... Stay strong for your Dad.   Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 You sound like you come from close family and I send my condolences, "Mum's" are the hub of any family and set the tone and generally take care of pretty much most things. I didn't know how we would cope without her when I lost my mum, but on the day of the funeral, I felt at peace knowing full well that she would not want any fuss and would really want us all to get on with our lives. I went from being a blubbering wreck to getting by! My Uncle who was a pilot and flew spitfires I never met, but he sounded like an amazing character - died very young from a heart attack my mum used to hold up chocolate bars sideways on and he would shoot them cutting them in half (with an air rifle). They had been very close and I imagined as I looked skywards what, a re-union must be taking place (all mums siblings died before she did as she was the baby of the family), and after that I felt somewhat better as all the sadness and heartache seemed to be parked somewhere and although I miss her immensely, those thoughts and genuine belief that she would not wish any of us upset made me feel a whole lot better and able to cope with the worst thing ever! I hope sharing this helps you because I REALLY do understand that Mums are totally priceless!  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaymo Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Martin You have our Condolences,  I wish you and Chris all the best in what is a difficult time for the whole family and for a positive outcome for your father. Jay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 there are not many forum's where you can open your heart on.......where you know other folk on it care... hope you are ok  ditch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hodge911 Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 (edited)  so sorry to hear the sad news martin . having lost both my parents at fairly young ages [both in their 60s] it is a pain like no other as they have been with you every day of your life . the pain never goes away mate but believe me it does fade to an acceptable one over taken by all the good memories . I found an initial relief coming to terms with the fact for her the suffering and fighting is over . best wishes and condollences to you and yours mate Edited August 21, 2019 by hodge911 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welsh1 Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 So sorry to hear of your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mice! Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Sorry to hear that, hope you manage to get something sorted at work, it's the last thing you should have to worry about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zapp Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Sorry to hear of your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penelope Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Take care;Â take care of those around you and let them take care of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnphilip Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 1 hour ago, ditchman said: there are not many forum's where you can open your heart on.......where you know other folk on it care... hope you are ok  ditch I think you have summed it up Simon , in so few words, what sort of person would we be , if we could not shed a tear for others . You have wrote a beautiful and very moving, tribute to your mother lord Geordie. She will be proud of you and your farther to, hold him close , your head will be in a daze , one step at a time hey . There are no other words to be said stay strong . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figgy Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retsdon Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 I'm sorry to hear your bad news L.G. Losing a parent is like losing part of yourself. It's as if a whole section of your existence that has been a constant foundation since earliest memory is now gone. And that's really, really hard. If it's any slight consolation, the pain will become less with time, and as time goes by you'll find that the memories of your mother start to bring a smile rather than a stab. You'll never 'get over' the loss entirely, but then again would you want to? It's thirty years since I lost my father and twenty since I lost my mother, but there hardly a day goes by when they don't pop up somewhere in my thoughts. But they're happy thoughts and that would please them. If it helps at all, remember that what you're experiencing is one of those massive steps down the road of life. Sometimes the steps are good and sometimes they're bad. This is one of the very bad ones. But stay strong. It will get better.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aled Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Sorry to hear of your loss. Condolences to you and all your family. Aled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arjimlad Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Sorry for your loss. What a wonderful tribute - may her love continue to sustain you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loriusgarrulus Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 Sorry for your loss. Mums are very special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted August 21, 2019 Report Share Posted August 21, 2019 So sorry to hear this sad news Martin my thoughts are with you if you want to talk you have my number and are welcome for coffee anytime mate.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.